This Week's Wacks
Our 862nd Edition
"Hey, if Roger Maris can have an asterisk, so can I."
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June 8th, 2012

Justin Bieber suffered a mild concussion Thursday after he ran into a glass wall backstage at a concert in Paris. Somewhere, there's a photographer laughing.

In Brazil, a robber held up a luxury sex shop and got away with an 18-carat gold-plated vibrator selling for $4,000. Police described the man as armed and popular.

The Green Lantern is coming out. The DC Comic Superhero is announcing that he is gay. Not surprising. For years, his nickname was "the Fabulous Flashlight!"

So John Edwards figured out a way to cheat on his dying wife, father a child with another woman, have campaign contributions pay for it and get away with it all. Isn't that the Triple Crown of sleaziness?

The newest version of Microsoft's operating system, Windows 8, is in final testing. Or, as Apple users like to say, "I'm sorry... did you say something?"

Former President Bill Clinton says he'd like George Clooney to play him, if his life is ever turned into a movie. That'll make casting Monica Lewinsky a lot easier.

A brand new private space venture from the Netherlands called Mars One, plans to send four astronauts on a one-way journey to Mars in just 11 years time. I'd just be afraid I'd land on Mars and my luggage would end up on Venus.

Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend is writing a tell-all book about him. Don't we already know everything we want to know? Like we're going to be shocked by anything?

Family Feud host Richard Dawson has passed away at age 79. How will he be remembered? Survey says... .. !

Where is the line between Smart phone and dumb user?

Joe Biden's daughter, Ashley, was married over the weekend. As a special gift to the newlyweds, the Vice President didn't give a speech.

Does anyone know what ever become of Rihanna? You never hear about her anymore. (excerpt from my new book, "Sarcasm 101")

Adele admits that she wore FOUR pairs of Spanx at the Grammys. So, couldn't have had it all, even if we wanted.

They've begun shooting season 6 of "Jersey Shore." I have one suggestion: instead of shooting it with cameras, can we switch over to drones?

Hugh Hefner is back together with his fiancee, Crystal Harris, one year after she called off their wedding. She took him back when he said those all-too-familiar words: "Nice to meet you."

Taco Bell's Doritos taco is now officially the chain's most popular product ever. Over 100-million sold in just 10 days. And you were worried about the hole in the ozone layer before...

Charlie Sheen tells Rolling Stone that he considers a girl's feet when deciding if he wants to date her. My guess is, if she insists on staying on them, she's out.

Katy Perry has joked that she'd like to have sex with Rihanna. Go ahead, Katy, make me laugh.

It's my favorite part of the NBA season -- when they reach the playoffs, it reminds me that it's almost time for football!

The number-2 guy in al-Qaida has been killed. See, President Obama is creating jobs!


  1.     Three words: Dumbo in Spanx
  2.     Each attraction will have in-line treadmills
  3.     In Robin Hood, Little John is getting littler
  4.     Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee going on Nutri-System
  5.     New sign at park: You must be this narrow to ride this ride


  1.     Charlie Sheen's personal anything
  2.     Kathie Lee Gifford's accuracy manager
  3.     Keith Richard's makeup artist
  4.     Lindsay Lohan's sobriety coach (good luck getting any vacation time)
  5.     Becoming Donald Trump's barber


PS--Both hope and despair can be found on this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--A humble request on my blog.
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