This Week's Wacks
Our 864th Edition
"Fine print isn't always worth reading."
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June 22nd, 2012
The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Wonder what the snack mom brings for the pro-pot team?
According to a tabloid, rap artist Ludacris spent thousands of dollars at an Atlanta strip club. Why that's... him!
Chris Brown and Drake, along with their entourages, got into a fight at a New York night spot. If only the hockey playoffs were still going, they could have at least taken it to the ice.
The IRS says that R. Kelly owes them $5-million in unpaid taxes. You can see why he can't afford a full first name.
Bristol Palin might consider running for president in 2028. Time to switch over to Team Mayan.
Leaders in Chicago wants to give you a ticket for smoking pot rather than arrest you. Being the Windy City, it's hard enough to light up! So I hear...
Elvis Presley's Graceland is marking its 30th anniversary as an attraction. It's now had a longer career than Elvis did.
Donald Trump had another birthday. Once again, none of his friends or family had the guts to buy him a good-looking hair piece.
Now that Greece is going to keep the Euro, they're writing a musical based on the election, called "Greece." Among the songs--"Greece(is the worst)" and "Euro the One That I Want."
John Travolta has agreed to appear in the movie, if there's a happy ending.
Baseball's Roger Clemons has been acquitted of all charges of lying to congress. Lying to congress... isn't that an oxymoron?
I guess his attorney threw them quite a curve ball.
A new survey found that US Airways is the most hated airline in the country. Not that the others didn't try...
There's a new concern that extremism is taking over in Greece. According to the latest poll, 125% of the people are for extremism.
The fossils of two turtles caught in the act of mating have been found in Germany. In the event it lasted more than four eons, they should call a doctor.
They're saying the middle class has now become the working poor. Well, at least we got a title change.
President Obama has now played 100 rounds of golf since becoming president. That'll silence those critics who say he hasn't done anything in four years.
The weird thing about playing golf with President Obama -- every time he hits a bad shot, he blames it on President Bush.
The U.S. Navy has taken 19 tons of marijuana and dumped it in the ocean off the U.S./Mexico border. In a related story, Tuna Brownies have suddenly become all the rage.
One newspaper is reporting that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are planning to get married. Ironically, it's just been discovered that Kanye is an African word, meaning "Larry King."
Forbes Magazine says that Kristen Stewart made over $35-million last year. Of course, she needs to figure out how to make that money last a long time, since she's now a vampire.
Wednesday was the longest day of the year. Nice of my job to help sell that through.
Lil Wayne has called on Drake to end his feud with Chris Brown. That's big of him.
The remaining Jackson brothers are getting ready to tour, their first time without Michael. I believe it's called the "Just like a U2 Concert without Bono Tour".
Wow, it's anything goes on TV these days, isn't it? I just saw a new show on the Food Channel, called "Fifty Shades of Gravy."
TOP FIVE SIGNS LINDSAY LOHAN HAS BORROWED YOUR CAR
Half of it just showed up with a tow truck
That jogger stuck on the grill should be a hint
It's right where I left it except now its on the front porch
Your car insurance agent is making those threatening calls again
Sirens. Yep, always starts with the sirens.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU MAY BE SHOPPING AT COSTCO TOO MUCH
Tuesday night's "Sample Dinner" idea is a great example
Anything more than $1.75 for a dog and a soda is too much
When leaving other stores, you look for someone to check your receipt
You have a two-weeks supply of... .. everything!
You show a membership card when you walk in the house
PS--Harry Potter fans will enjoy this week's
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