This Week's Wacks
Our 868th Edition
"Where the rubber meets the chicken"
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July 20th, 2012

Perfect saying for a Friday from my buddy, Skip Tucker: "Man, I'm so tired, I already want to take a nap tomorrow."

The White House is now urging Americans not to "read too much" into last week's jobs report... and, if they're really feeling up to it, forget about the past four years.

The uniforms American athletes will wear at the upcoming Olympics are being criticized for "looking too European" and for being made in China. Well, we sure don't want is the Olympics becoming too international.

JP Morgan says their trading blunder has now cost them $4-billlion. They keep this up and they could become a city in California.

Charlie Sheen says he's giving up Twitter. In his words: "Uh, leaving!"

David Hasselhoff says he wants to celebrate his 60th birthday in bed with his girlfriend, making love to her 60 times. Someone should let Pfizer know.

NASA has discovered that Pluto has five moons. How weird has Pluto got to be, with five full moons in the same month?

Farmers in France have started giving their cows two bottles of wine every day, in order to make better beef. However, all it did was cause the cows to become big fans of Kathie Lee and Hoda.

Egyptians pelted Hillary Clinton's motorcade with tomatoes... and, at the price of tomatoes these days, that's quite a compliment!

Note to self--try to be better at keeping track of those notes you send to yourself.

Two men who had hoped to ride in lawn chairs attached to helium balloons from Oregon to Montana have had to cancel their attempt due to thunderstorms, wind and common sense.

A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Phobias have always scared me.

Remember, it's the little things in life that make the larger things seem big.

Charlie Sheen donated $1-million to the USO... and what's even more amazing, he did it sober!

Of course, being Charlie, it was all in $1 bills.

The FBI has joined the investigation into who put sewing needles in airline food. I was shocked--an airline, actually serving food?

My wife is reading "50 Shades of Gray". She says it doesn't get really dirty until around shade 37.

Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri were riding in the back of a black Mercedes sedan Monday evening on their way home from Suri's gymnastics class in New York... when it was struck by a garbage truck. No word if the driver of the garbage truck was a Scientologist.

According to a new report, the average Canadian is now richer than the average American. Well, at least we have the Stanley Cup down here.

Burger King is now offering a Bacon Sundae. Be still my beating heart. And if have enough of those, it will be!

Burger King is now offering a Bacon Sundae. Well, that explains all those new defibrillators.

Bad news for Compton, California.  Not only might it be the next California city to file for bankruptcy….the entire city was found up on blocks.

A new study shows that women have higher IQ's on women.  What does that mean?

President Obama met his week with Jerry Springer. He must need help in winning the vote of homeless strippers with 13 personalities.

A new survey shows that 98% of Americans distrust the Internet….or, so it says.


  1.     "You never hear of a dog lady, do you?"
  2.     Uh, 9 lives!
  3.     Who does tricks like "Beg" and "roll over?"
  4.     Dogs have masters, cats have owners
  5.     Being in a cathouse is good, in a doghouse is bad


  1.     Kinda weird -- Cat Woman uses a litter box. Uh, yeah.
  2.     He always reads something when he goes to the Bat Room
  3.     He's not really a knight (hey, we didn't know for sure)
  4.     His Twitter name is Studly Bat
  5.     Batman wears black to make him feel thinner


PS--A cool flashback to when I was growing up on this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--The very rare Ringo/Lutefisk weekend!  Details on my blog.
PSPSPS--If you have Facebook, I'm over here
PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian.  Catch her every Sunday at