This Week's Wacks
Our 877th Edition
"It is good to love and laugh, but not too close to each other"
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September 21st, 2012

Interesting that a court has ordered a French magazine to hand over those topless pictures of Kate Middleton... since, if there had been a hand over to begin with, we wouldn't have this whole mess.

I don't know how you feel about this whole Kate Middleton topless photo thing, but frankly, I'm sick and tired of constantly having to search the Internet to find the newest pictures.

It's the one-year anniversary of the "Occupy: Wall Street" movement. When the greediness and gluttony of the 1% were pointed out by the incredibly less than 1%.

The CEO of IKEA announced that he will retire next year after 34 years with the company. Over the years, he put together quite a career with the company. Of course, at IKEA, you have to put everything together.

The Apple executive who designed the iPhone just bought a new $17 million mansion in California. Ironically, the second he finished moving in, construction began next door on an even more incredible $17-million mansion next door.

Berkeley may become the first city in the U.S. to have an official Bi-Sexual Pride Day! Wouldn't it make a lot of sense to have the parade going two directions at once?

A French magazine says it's going to publish photos of the prophet Mohammad sunbathing without a top on! They're just asking for trouble!

Jon Cryer wiped out while cycling in a triathlon over the weekend. It was the biggest wreck he'd been in since "Andy Richter Controls the Universe."

Shakira and Usher are going to replace Christine Aguilera and Cee Lo Green on "The Voice." I think if they want complete honesty from the judges, they only listen to Shakira's hips.

Lindsay Lohan's mom, Dina, flipped off Dr. Phil on the season premiere of his show. I think we have a new moderator for the presidential debates!

O.J. Simpson is claiming that Khloe Kardashian is his daughter. I see no reason why he would lie.

The 1%! The 47%! Don't these politicians realize that 8 out of every 5 Americans are bad at math?

Robert Pattinson has accepted Kristen Stewart's apology and the two have reunited and are back together as a couple. Now all they have to do is figure out that Volturi thing.

You just can't win when you're a member of the royal family. First, they're criticized for having so much... then, when they try to cut back and buy only the bottom half of a bathing suit, they're criticized again.

Amanda Bynes is insisting that she's not crazy. At least, that's what she told a mailbox the other day.

Taxes, unemployment, the war…when are the candidates going to talk about the big issue: finally doing something about Lindsay Lohan!!

The good news about Lindsay Lohan's most recent arrest-it's became less work for police, as far as the paperwork goes.  They now just use one of the already filled out Lindsay forms.

I put up a sign up at work: "Now 37 Days Since My Last Honey Boo Boo."

Lady Gaga thinks she might be putting on some weight.  So, two days a week, she's going to switch to tofu dresses.

TOP FIVE MOST FAMOUS MARTIANS

  1.     Martian Brady
  2.     Martian Dillon
  3.     Martian Arts
  4.     Red Planet
  5.     Mars Z. Pan

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE A COLD

  1.     Allergies? Not it's snot.
  2.     Your head feels like you went for a ride with Lindsay Lohan
  3.     "I think I have a cold" sounds like "Di Dink Di Dave Da Dold"
  4.     You're on your third box of Kleenex this morning
  5.     Sneezy the Dwarf keeps saying to you, "Hey, that's my line!"

                       Tim

PS--A beautiful view of the Milky Way from Mars on this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--Some Alaskan cruise highlights on my blog.
PSPSPS--If you have Facebook, I'm over here
PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian.  Catch her every Sunday at MyBallard.com. She's also threatening to start her own blog at imanorwegian.com