This Week's Wacks
Our 877th Edition
"Do I repeat myself too ofen, or just repeat myself too much?"
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September 28th, 2012
Calvin Klein's 22-year-old ex-boyfriend is going to write a tell-all book about his relationship with the designer. If I may suggest a title: "It's all in the jeans."
Fiona Apple was arrested for possession of pot and hash... and you know what they say about one bad apple.
Apple wants to know if you absolutely love the new iPhone 5 because, if you do, that means they won't wait... and will immediately roll out the iPhone 6.
We're getting close to the time of year when those Christmas stamps I've been using all year don't look as dumb.
I didn't make it to the iHeart Festival in Vegas this weekend, but I did take part in the iLiver Celebration at my house.
New stats show that more Americans commit suicide than die in car crashes every year. I blame Detroit for making cars too safe.
Only one, simple question: are the Emmy's over yet?
I'm beginning to think that "Modern Family" wins best comedy every year, just so the voters can watch Sofia Vergara walk up on stage.
Just be grateful that the replacement refs are confined to the NFL and not making the calls on your life. Amen.
The Monday Night Football game had to be the worst officiated game in NFL history. There were more bad calls than Charlie Sheen drunk dialing.
In the referees' defense, it's hard to officiate a game and constantly flip a coin at the same time.
If that game doesn't end the referee strike, nothing will.
Jon Gabriel gets credit for this one: If Romney wants to win Wisconsin, he needs to call a press conference first thing this morning and denounce the replacement refs.
Hey, Apple, you're always saying, "There's an ap for that!" Got anything on the topic of refereeing?
Then again, that was a Seahawks touchdown Monday night, according to Apple maps.
Makes you wonder just how fun the election would be if we brought in replacement candidates, doesn't it?
Love the line they're using to promote, "New Girl.":
"New season. Same towels."
Pamela Anderson was the first celebrity voted off "Dancing with the Stars" this season. Two fewer reasons to watch the show.
Yep, Pamela Anderson was bounced off "Dancing with the Stars" this week. Too much bouncing.
The iPhone plant in China has re-opened after that brawl earlier in the week. Yep, break's over.
I gotta be honest--I'm not missing one episode of "The X-Factor." I plan to miss them all!
I'm convinced that Iran's President Ahmadinejad only comes to the U.S. to force us to say his name.
From my buddy Skip Tucker: I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked!"
Remember, misspelling a word by even just one letter can change the entire massage.
TLC has ordered more episodes of "Here comes Honey Boo Boo", including some holiday specials. I'm not watching, so I'm blaming you.
Clint Eastwood says theaters are packed to see his new movie, "Trouble with the Curve." We had to remind Clint that not everyone counts empty seats as full.
Americans will spend $370-million on Halloween costumes for their pets. I wish they'd come up with a better way to get the mask to stay on your goldfish.
The regular NFL referees returned last night. Now we can quit complaining about guys who don't know what they were doing and get back to to complaining about guys who DO know what they're doing.
TOP FIVE HINTS YOU MAY HAVE A COUNTERFEIT IPHONE 5
The words "Samsung Galaxy S3" are crossed out and iPhone hand-written in
Uh, wait... this appears to be made out of chocolate!
Actually, the name on the phone is Ample
Wait -- are there two A's in Apple?
It does everything but make phone calls and run aps
TOP FIVE ALCOHOLIC DRINKS YOU CAN ORDER AT DISNEY WORLD
Indiana Jones and the Shirley Temple of Doom
Winnie the Brew
Baloo Nun Wine
It's a Small Beer After All
PS--See, I told you the dog did it! Proof on this week's
Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--Many thoughts this week, including my take on the Monday Night Football debacle on my
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