I'm picturing a new series, where Snooki and J-Wow drill for oil. We could call it, "Jersey Off Shore." OK, needs work.
The Los Angeles City Council voted 11-2 to overturn the ban on medical marijuana dispensaries. They celebrated the victory by eating a dozen fudge brownies, two half-gallons of Cookie Dough ice cream and a large pizza with everything on it.
A new study found that nice people are more likely to live longer than people with bad attitudes... leading to the new phrase, "Have a nice day---or else!"
Mitt Romney has won the support of the N.R.A.. I know the suspense was killing me.
The number of Gay and Lesbian characters on prime time television shows is at an all-time high. This season, there are 31 gay characters on TV... and that's just counting the ones on "Glee!"
A new study has found that there are just way too many new studies.
Canada's Thanksgiving Day was Monday. I wonder if that means they hit the stores on Black Tuesday?
Esquire Magazine has named Mila Kunis the sexiest woman alive. I had no idea that many other sexy women had died.
The vice-presidential candidates debate on Thursday night. Some say Paul Ryan will be at a disadvantage because of his youth and inexperience... then there are those who say Joe Biden is at a disadvantage because he has to speak.
Jim Lehrer won't be there. They're using a replacement moderator.
I've decided that Mondays would be a lot easier if Jim Lehrer was moderator.
To help fight rising fuel costs, the airlines are now offering to lose your luggage without having to fly. Awesome.
Right now, California is THE spot to be if you couldn't afford that trip to Europe, but wanted to pay their gasoline prices.
Regular gas in Long Beach, California, has hit $6.65 a gallon. The governor says help is on the way, but will take time... as it's taking the bus.
It's been a tough week. I had always considered President Obama and Vice-President Biden as the Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman of politics. Now I don't know what to think...
38% of U.S. households are headed by someone 55-plus. I guess that means I'm in charge... at least until she's will to admit she's over 55.
Weird story out of Oregon, where they believe a farmer was eaten by his hogs. The only thing weirder would be, if months from now, someone would be heard saying, "Doesn't this bacon taste like Frank?"
The Olive Garden is getting rid of its famous catchphrase, "When you're here, you're family." Obviously, the owners aren't getting along with their family like they use to and why take it out on the customers?
Sarah Palin is writing a fitness book. I didn't know she worked out. All I had heard was that ran four years ago.
Title suggestion: "I can see you getting in shape from my front porch."
Big fight on Long Island the other night between Lindsay Lohan and her mom. I don't know who deserves who.
They had a double elimination on "Dancing With The Stars This Week." It's a shame we don't have that option in the presidential race.
A new study says 14 percent of the country's homeless live in New York City. That's almost 25% of the people Mitt Romney says don't count... and according to the latest survey, that joke made 50% of you mad.
Back in high school, I hated math. You can imagine how I feel about this election.
Just got a Groupon good for unlimited exercise classes. Isn't part of your motivation knowing that you're eventually done?
The vice-presidential candidates debate tonight. Stakes are high....but enough about meat prices.
With Joe Biden being taller than Paul Ryan, he's already got the altitude disadvantage.
Mark Zuckerberg says that Facebook has reached 1 billion monthly active users. Hey, how you gonna keep them down on the Farmville?
Joe Biden is taller than Paul Ryan. Apparently, some are saying he lose the debate because of the altitude.
A new survey claims that one-fifth of Americans now claim to have no religious affiliation. Their number one question: "Who do we trust in?"
Two ATMs in New York were shut down after customers realized they were dispensing counterfeit money. The $20 bill with Honey Boo Boo on it was the real giveaway.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE WINNING THE DEBATE
Opponent said "I'll be right back" and hasn't been seen since
Your opponent's last response was, "... .. uh, maybe"
When asked how he feels about an issue, opponent tosses coin
Opponent says, "You know, you're making a lot of sense."
Moderator Jim Lehrer waving white flag
TOP FIVE OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH A PUMPKIN BESIDES CARVING IT
Turn it into a coach (as long as you know a fairy godmother)
Enjoy the most frustrating game of bowling you've ever experienced
Perfect on "Take your pumpkin to work day"
Paint it red and insist it's the world's largest apple