This Week's Wacks
Our 883rd Edition
""When jokes are outlawed, only outlaws will read this"
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November 2nd, 2012
Saw this one on Facebook: "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y."
There's a new massage parlor in San Francisco that is offering "Face Slapping." I guess I should have realized, back in college, how much I was getting for free.
The thing I hate most about Thursday night football is waking up on Friday and realizing that I've already missed one in my football pool.
Lindsay Lohan says she endorses Mitt Romney. Boy, is she going to be surprised when she finds out what 'endorses' means.
They're calling that huge storm heading to the coast a "Frankenstorm." Apparently, it's so strong, it'll make you ask for your mummy.
The #1 scariest costume in most places is the vampire....except in Detroit. If you want to scare people there, just dress up like a Giant.
Some day, I'd like to become a drone pilot.
Thanks to Matt Case for this one: Due to the poor economy, Ke$ha is changing her name to Ke˘ha.
I think there's been a mistake. I was wishing that Santa would come early, not Sandy.
Hurricane Sandy has hit new York, blowing things everywhere... except the Yankees. They were already swept away.
Alright, who's the smart Alec that put the windsock on the Statue of Liberty?
Millions of Americans back east are bracing themselves for the impact of Hurricane Sandy. Their biggest challenge -- doing everything in their power not to break into those bags of Halloween candy.
History being made in New York City this week. With flood waters upwards of 11-feet deep, some cabbies -- for the first time ever -- were experiencing their second bath in the same week!
How good were the San Francisco Giants? Not even the White House could bail Detroit out of this one.
New York City is completely without power. Wow, first the Yankees... and now this!
Psychologists are suggesting ways to explain Sandy to our kids. That's easy. "If you don't eat those vegetables, Sandy will... .. " "If you don't finish your homework, Sandy will... " Etc.
You know, I was completely disregarding that Mayan prediction about the world ending this year until I read the line before it: "And the Giants shall sweep the Tigers."
The way I look at it, if you're going to come up with the time & energy to put together an emergency kit, you might as well go with the single malt.
I wonder if, when kids went Trick or Treating at Bill Gates' house, they would get a copy of Windows 8.
"Oh, sorry kids. Looks like hurricane Sandy blew away all the Snickers in your candy bags overnight!"
This is the Fall Back weekend, although my Apple Stock has already gotten a head start.
Apple has fired the executive responsible for their failed Apple Maps program. Ironically, they had to tell him where to go.
They had to show him the door. No, literally…he couldn't find it.
It's "Fall Back Weekend"….when we set the alarms for 2am so we can turn the clocks back an hour….and then, by the third alarm going off realize how flawed our thinking is.
Please vote so you can help share the blame for next Tuesday.
Uh, which of the food groups does "fun size" fall into?
TOP FIVE SIGNS THAT'S A PRETTY NASTY STORM OUT THERE
- The weather guy from channel 5... just blew by!
- The crawl at the bottom of the TV says, "Wow! You're still here?"
- Al Roker is waving a white flag
- A house just landed on the Wicked Witch of the North
- The same Delta jet just flew to New York three times
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU BOUGHT TOO MUCH HALLOWEEN CANDY
- A Snickers Omelet? Really?
- You're drinking everything out of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
- Milky Way Meatloaf
- Gummi Bear Claws for breakfast
- "Do you take Milk Duds in your coffee?"
Tim
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PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian. Catch her every Sunday on my Facebook page. She's also threatening to start her own blog at imanorwegian.com