This Week's Wacks
Our 887th Edition
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November 29th, 2012

Danica Patrick and her husband of 7 years are getting divorced. Apparently, they had made the transition from "Go Daddy," to "No, daddy!"

The holiday shopping is getting pretty fierce. Already, in several malls, chains are now required.

If I were to describe my holiday weekend with a movie title, it would have to be "Life of extra Pi".

By the way, warning about the movie, "Life of Pi"--it's not about math.

George Takei offers this observation: The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.

Another day -- another turkey sandwich.

Why is it, after this four-day weekend, I feel like I could use a 4-day weekend?

I do have to say: "I'm a fan of tryptophan."

By the way, the video for "Gangnam Style" just became the all-time most viewed video on YouTube. Just as the Mayans predicted...

OK, we've got "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday" down. Now, how about "No Credit Card Shopping Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday?"

Now we know the impact. The storm "Sandy" affected 60-million people in the U.S. and Canada. Lindsay Lohan's movie, "Liz and Dick" only impacted 3.5 million.

Lindsay Lohan is said to be devastated by criticism of her acting in "Liz and Dick." Lindsay, what you need to do is go on a nice, relaxing drive. Oh, wait... maybe not.

This is such a wonderful time of year: we celebrated Thanksgiving and a 4-day weekend. Now, we get to enjoy the holiday lights and decorations, shopping, avoiding a fiscal cliff and then Christmas...

I just saw a magazine article titled, "The Faces of the Patreaus Scandal." Uh, it wasn't the faces that got them in trouble.

OK, what if I want to have myself a merry BIG Christmas? Where's my song?

The White House got their Christmas tree last Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  Bo, the family dog, has already put the first thing under the tree.

A man in India has just become a father again….at age 96!  I know what you're wondering:  where were the parents?

Another big lottery jackpot gone by….another morning of going into work early to retrieve that resignation letter on my boss's desk.

Some insurance companies say they won't pay for recent storm damage in the northeast, because of some of the fine print in policies.  Homeowners are saying they don't believe there's a Sandy clause.

Starbucks is offering a new premium coffee that will cost you $7 for just a cup of it.  Notice I said you, not me.

For the record, you had a 0.0000005714% of winning the Powerball lottery.

Guy Fieri named one of the least influential people of 2012.  Shoot--I lost again!  What do I not have to do to win?

Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall says he's heard some guys in the league actually take Viagra before the game because they feel it gives them an edge.  Remember, if the effects last more than 3 overtimes, see a doctor.


  1.     The Better-Than-Not-Going-To-A-Bowl Bowl
  2.     The Desperation Bowl
  3.     The I-Didn't-Know-They-Had-A-Team Bowl
  4.     The Porcelain Bowl
  5.     The Smoke-Uh Bowl


  1.     Someone says Bing and instead of White Christmas, you think of a search engine
  2.     You don't say "Go to sleep," you say "power down"
  3.     Instead of saying, "Can we talk about this later?" you say, "Save file as... "
  4.     While holding a friend's pet mouse, you try to right-click it
  5.     Looking for the "Like" button on the TV remote


PS--If it's been a while since your last office prank, don't miss this week's inspirational Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--I'm now a huge Fandango fan. And what do you mean we don't remember Gilda Radner?  My blog.
PSPSPS--If you're into Facebook, I'm right here
PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian.  Catch her every Sunday on my Facebook page. She's also threatening to start her own blog at