This Week's Wacks
Our 893rd Edition
"Where the rubber chicken meets the road"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial

January 18th, 2013

Seen online: "Thief who steals calendar gets 12 months!"

Someone broke into the set of "Anchorman 2" in Atlanta on Monday and stole $300,000 worth of wire. The suspects have been described as armed and cable-ready.

Now Lance Armstrong says he lied about saying he lied. I'm done.

The Miss America pageant was held Saturday night and it was pretty much the usual. A winner was chosen, a crown was given, the congratulatory phone call from Brett Musburger...

TV seemed redundant Sunday night. Example--Sofia Vergara on the Golden Globes.

I finally got around to seeing "Lincoln." Good movie, but I found the ending predictable.

I watched the Golden Globes on Sunday night. Sorry to say that "Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance" was shut out again.

Prostitutes in Brazil have started learning English so they can communicate with out-of-town clients during the World Cup. One of the first phrases they learned was, "Oh, you're with the secret service, too?"

Shoulder-bearing dresses revealing a collection of tattoos tends to make an awards show look like an NBA game.

The University of Arizona is now offering a degree in hip-hop. Finally, something that takes the ridicule away from philosophy majors.

Tim Tebow is now selling his own line of headphones. Hey, you've gotta do SOMETHING while sitting there on the sidelines...

I understand they're not that good. They're more for music devices that are ready to play, but you never use.

After Jodie Foster's rambling speech the other night, I'm beginning to understand why she is, in her words, "so very lonely."

By the way, Lance Armstrong's charity has a new slogan: "Live strong, cheat stronger!"

I'm wearing my new Lance Armstrong "Lie strong" wrist band.

I did it! I finally perfected time travel! After all those years, I... wait. How did I end up back here?

Since I found out Lance Armstrong's been cheating all these years, I don't care what he's peddlin'.

The one going around Facebook: "At least Lance Armstrong had the ball to admit he cheated!"

Look! I'm wearing my new Lance Armstrong "Lie strong" wrist band.

Black Sabbath is reuniting with Ozzy Osbourne for their first album together in 35 years. The first phase of the project is remembering why.

I love watching falling snow. Then again, rising snow would probably concern me.

Kim Kardashian says that, now that's she pregnant, she'd like more privacy.  She made the announcement on Twitter, Facebook, an email blast and a couple of YouTube videos.

Actress Megan Fox compared fame to being bullied in high school.  Well, except for the part about all the money.

Lance Armstrong went on the Oprah Winfrey show and admitted what we suspected all along-most cyclists feel they shouldn't have to stop at stop signs.

Weird story about that Notre Dame football player.  It turns out that the girlfriend who supposedly died of leukemia never even existed.  It was all a hoax.  They may wait a while to break the news to him about Lance Armstrong. 

It's been a tough month for Notre Dame fans.  First, finding out their National Championship team was a hoax and now this!

A recent storm in Scotland uncovered some human remains that go all the way to the Iron Age.  Who knew people in Scotland ever ironed?

From Facebook: FACT: It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to lift your middle finger


  1.     Besides not exercising, you've now hired someone to be your TV remote fetcher
  2.     You had broken all three resolutions by 12:05 New Year's Day
  3.     You paid $700 for an online course on how to control spending... and charged it
  4.     You've gained 10 pounds
  5.     You've started smoking


  1.     Three words: wool tank tops
  2.     There's that guy who had his surfboard studded
  3.     Kids are outside making frost angels
  4.     Trendy item---almost snow tires
  5.     Shoveling frost? Really?


  1.     Before getting in the car, must undergo 3 hours of training before yelling "Shotgun!"
  2.     Special permit needed for staple gun
  3.     Must be accompanied by an adult before shooting your mouth off
  4.     You must be over 18 to possess a glue gun
  5.     All CD's by ,38 Special have to be registered


PS--George Takei is a funny guy.  Don't miss our Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--I wasn't ready.  My blog.
PSPSPS--If you're into Facebook, I'm right here
PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack