This year's winner of the Westminster Dog Show was a dog by the name of Banana Joe. Winning that particular show is like winning the Puppy Bowl.
Around 1,000 people were injured in Russia when a giant meteor crashed to the ground. In a related story, a Mayan in Mexico said, "Told you so."
Experts say that a 45-meter meteor is scientifically redundant.
A new study says if you relax, you'll be more productive. Now I'm stressed that I'm not relaxing enough and nobody wins.
Uh, taking a nap is considered a little TOO relaxed.
You're listening to the show voted "Not as bad as being on a stranded Carnival Cruise ship, but close."
A new survey found that some fish owners actually gave their pets a Valentine's Day gift. Really? You know, I heard the fish was seeing other people.
I'm not going to do it, but the obvious connection with Oscar Pistorius and the phrase "not having a leg to stand on" is there.
What are gas prices up to now? I haven't filled up for an hour and a half...
Some people have been upset that President Obama played golf over the weekend with Tiger Woods. They feel that hanging around someone like that could further harm his image. This is where you get to choose and apply that sentence to one of them.
Rumor has it that Kim Kardashian is going to have twins. Score another point for the book of Revelations.
From my buddy, Skip Tucker: "I once knew a woman who thought she'd found the best desert nomad in the world until she met a Bedouin."
A new study found that humans are slowly getting less intelligent... although, you can increase that pace by watching episodes of "Honey Boo Boo."
A new study says that Bakersfield, California, is the least literate city in America. Boy, are they going to be upset when they find out what that means!
Office Max is merging with Office Depot. Here's hoping they go with Max Depot over Office Office.
Sony has unveiled the Playstation 4. They must have heard I was starting to get too much done.
Tyler Perry's TV series, "For better or worse" is moving from TBS to Oprah's network. In other words, the show you weren't watching on TBS you can now not watch on OWN.
The pope says he still plans to go into retirement next week. He says the only plans that have changed: he's no longer going on a Carnival cruise.
Reader's Digest has filed for bankruptcy. Apparently, it still pays to increase your word power, just not enough to make a living.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE A WORKAHOLIC
At 5 o'clock, you announce, "Only 15 hours until we come back! IF I was actually leaving!"
There's that t-shirt you occasionally wear: "Overtime is for the weak!"
That "I heart my job" coffee cup is frankly, sad
You walk in each morning and say, "Honey, I'm home"
The only thing you hate more than 3-day weekends is vacation
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE AT A BAD OSCAR PARTY
On the banner, the word "Superbowl" is crossed out and "Oscar" written in
On the party Oscar ballot, one of the movies listed is "Arco"
Wait -- aren't those the Beanie Weanies from last year?