This Week's Wacks
Our 902nd Edition"
"Time for spring cleaning. Now, to figure out how to get to the springs in my bed"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial
March 22nd, 2013
NBC continues to struggle in the ratings, but they have a plan. There's a new show on the way, called "Hannibal," based on the Hannibal Lector character. In the first episode, he eats the cast of "Smash!"
Justin Bieber says the media is constantly making up all kinds of lies about him. I'm assuming he said that because of the 10,000-year-old demon spirit that lives within him.
So far, no replacement has been announced for Joy Behar on "The View." Yep, nothing but black smoke so far...
McDonald's has introduced a yoke-free Egg McMuffin has only 260 calories. If that doesn't sound good, you can always get a side-order of yokes.
So much drama -- the wondering, the waiting and then, finally, a bachelor is chosen. I like the process of choosing a new pope.
Gotta love those folks at Starbucks. For St. Patrick's Day, all of them were wearing green aprons!
People are pointing out that the devil in "The Bible" mini-series has a striking resemblance to President Obama. The devil was quoted as saying, "Well, no need to get nasty about this!"
Our boss is so mean. He says if we all don't start working harder and being more productive, he's going to take us all on a Carnival cruise!
Lindsay Lohan is heading back to court on a misdemeanor charge. Hey, there's a good nickname for her: Miss Demeanor!
There's talk that "Today" show host Matt Lauer is the top choice to replace Alex Trebek when he leaves "Jeopardy." Alex called the choice "answerable."
The producers of "The Bible" mini-series say that the fact the devil character looks a lot like President Obama is purely coincidental. Don't know how they explain that scene where Donald Trump asks the devil for his birth certificate..
Never give up. Always give down.
Spring arrived overnight -- let the cleaning begin!
You can almost hear those lawn mowers starting up.
Remember a couple of weeks ago, when they said if our country goes into sequestration, the world would end? Seems like we're still here and congress isn't exactly in a panic. Huh.
The average price of a wedding these days is now $28,000. The key is teaching our kids the value of money, the wisdom of being frugal and how to elope.
"Jeopardy" host Alec Trebek announced that he is retiring. His exact words were, "Who is burned out?"
Tiger Woods announced this week that Lindsey Vonn is the latest woman to think she's the only one he's seeing.
Rapper Too Short was arrested on a DUI charge. Apparently, police thought he was Too Drunk.
Carnival has canceled 12 more sailings so they can fix their ships. Ya think? It's gotta be cheaper than towing!
Buddy Matt Case asks a good question--"I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time!"
NBC has confirmed that Jimmy Fallon is going to take over for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show. Conan O'Brien was quoted as saying, "Been there, done that!"
Thursday was Twitter's 7th birthday. I wrote a wonderful salute to it, but had to post it in four different pieces.
For the kids of the employees, they brought in folks from Disney to entertain, but not more than 140 characters.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU HAD A REALLY WILD ST. PATRICK'S DAY
- It's the day after and everything looks very, very green
- You barely remember chasing snakes out of the zoo
- How did THAT get painted green?
- I think that's a leprechaun on my car's front bumper
- When you woke up, you realized someone had waxed your shaleighleigh
TOP FIVE RAPPER THE NAMES THE EASTER BUNNY CONSIDERED
- Bun E. Rappit
- Lil Bunny
- Big Hutch
- Cot N. Tail
- Sir Thumps-Alot
Tim
PSPS--Found a family time capsule. Details on my blog
PSPSPS--Are you on Facebook? So am I, right here
PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack