This Week's Wacks
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"I'm fine with fine print"
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April 5th, 2013

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un keeps threatening to shoot and threatening to shoot. All I can say is, it's a good thing he's not Kobe Bryant!

They say, "Go big or go home!" So, I went big -- does that mean now I can't go home?

Let National Egg Salad Sandwich week begin!!

Here's hoping you found all of your Easter eggs. If not, they'll be really easy to find in a couple of months.

The good thing about getting older--I can now hide my own Easter eggs! Thanks, Skip.

Lifetime has canceled the TV show, "America's Most Wanted." Apparently, its not wanted as much as it once was.

We'll be streaming later this morning. Yep, we've already drank WAY too much coffee...

The baseball season has begun and you know what that means---it's almost football season!

Monday was the White House Easter Egg Roll. Nice to know there are some things sequestration didn't affect.

Time to go out and hit those After April Fool's Day sales!  You can save 150%, you know.

The murder rate in Chicago dropped 42% during the first quarter of this year, which either means things are getting better or they're just running out of bullets.

CBS says they have no regrets about not replaying Kevin Ware's broken leg injury over and over on Sunday. However, they would like to apologize that for that new show, "C.S.I.: Burbank."

Americans bought an estimated 120-million pounds of candy for Easter. Do we really need all that AND what the Easter Bunny brought us?

President Obama has asked congress for $100-million to map the human brain. If money's tight, he'll settle for $25-million to map Donald Trump's brain.

An airline in Samoa is now going to charge customers for flying by their weight. I wonder if they'll offer frequent dieter miles?

A 113-year old Michigan woman is now the oldest person in the U.S.. She's a big Michigan Wolverine fan. Both hope to still be around next Monday.

Rutgers has fired their men's basketball coach Mike Rice after video was made public showing him being abusive to his players. Already FOX has offered him a cooking show.

I imagine they'll call it, "Cooking with Rice."

North Korean President Kim Jong Un is threatening to attack the U.S..  But seriously, shouldn't the first place those missiles land be his barber shop?

I'm not going to bid Jay Leno farewell and wish him the best until I know it's gonna stick this time.

It's the 40th anniversary of the cell phone. 41 years ago, people had to just resort to talking to each other during movies.

Five schools in western Norway have rescheduled their midterm exams to allow students to attend upcoming Justin Bieber concerts in Oslo.  Yes, even in Norway, they have "Bieber Fjever."

President Obama shot some hoops this week at the White House and even though he took 22 shots, only one went through.  Oh, I'm sorry---wait, those were his economic policies.


  1.     Use it for a wig when you dress up like Nicki Minaj
  2.     Use it to patch that hole in the lawn
  3.     You know, it could be a very lame source of fiber
  4.     Sell it as a bird nest kit at IKEA
  5.     Chest hair for the St. Patrick's Day sequel of "Austin Powers"


  1.     "I hope nobody heard that."
  2.     "I feel a panic attack coming on"
  3.     "Oh-oh... 20 floors to go and I'm feeling sick!"
  4.     "If I had to, I'd resort to cannibalism"
  5.     "The doctor says it's highly contagious"


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