By the way, this is my 21,052nd day on earth. Not that I'm counting.....
Saw "Iron Man 3" over the weekend. I'm not saying Robert Downey Jr. is getting too old, but I thought I noticed a bit of rust.
They're already working on the next "Iron Man" movie, when Robert Downey Jr. gets really old. The tentative name is "Low Iron Man."
Great -- 165,000 new jobs in April. Wonderful. Now will somebody buy my house for what I paid for it?
Martha Stewart told Matt Lauer on the "Today" show that she is looking for a man on Match.com. It's a lonely thing.
Going to a concert with 4,000 people and 30 honey buckets -- a modern day version of "Game of Thrones."
Former Pope Benedict is moving back into the Vatican. Sounds like a reality series waiting to happen.
I guess he wants to move back in for a while until he can save up enough money for a place of his own.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is in trouble with PETA after he killed a spider in front of a class of 4th graders. Although, this pretty much locks up the fly vote.
Just so you know, 11 out of every 7 statistics you read on Facebook are made up.
In "Iron Man 3," Robert Downey Jr. has to deal with being an aging super hero and develops a WD-40 habit.
Sony Picture says a "Men in Black 4" is on the way. That would give it a one movie lead in its race with "The Hangover."
Mother's Day is this Sunday. I like to take mom out to lunch, but this year, I'm going to really focus on remembering to go pick her back up.
I feel bad for hummingbirds. Even if they knew the words, there's nothing they can do about it.
Mark Sanford, the disgraced ex-governor of South Carolina, was elected a congressman for a district in that state. He celebrated by saying he was going on a hike. His fiancee said, "Not without me!"
Peter Robbins, who was the voice of Charlie Brown in several "Peanuts" television shows, is facing possible prison time for stalking and threatening his former girlfriend and a plastic surgeon who had given her a breast enhancement. What a blockhead!
He was going to kick himself, but at the very last second, Lucy pulled his butt away at the last second.
According to a new report, Al Gore now has more money than Mitt Romney. But that's OK, because Al has a (D) next to his bank account balance.
Strange that the vile, twisted, sick person who was behind that bizarre Cleveland story would have the same first name as the Little Mermaid.
Ford has announced they have cars that don't run but they'll fix the problem later this year. Oh, wait….no, I meant Microsoft and Windows 8.
I'll never go to the bathroom near Dennis Rodman. I'm afraid he'll say, "Do me a solid."
Chris Brown's jet had to make an emergency landing the other day when they started getting smoke in the cabin. Rihanna's mechanic had no comment.
Big voting glitch on "The Voice" this week. Host Carson Daly said they had to throw out the Internet and Text votes because of "irregularities", but not to worry, because it didn't affect the results. Then why throw them out?
The weird part came when it was announced that Al Gore was leaving the show.
In Brazil, a man accidentally shot his wife in the mouth with a harpoon. She'll live, but he'll be facing a lifetime of sucking up.
Back in 2004, psychic Sylvia Brown told the mother of one of the Cleveland kidnap victims that the girl was dead. Now she's saying, "Oh, wait…it's not your daughter---it's my career!"
TOP FIVE INVENTIONS THAT NEVER CAUGHT ON
Non-stick fly paper
Instant water (just add water)
The cordless extension cord
Microwave ice cubes
TOP FIVE LEAST IMPRESSIVE TALENTS
Doing a sober impression of Lindsay Lohan
Typing with your toes (and please, stop using my keyboard)