This Week's Wacks
Our 918th Edition"
"Incomplete sentences really bug"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial

July 12th, 2013

Scientists have managed to grow human livers inside of mice... which could mean some really weird spring breaks in the years ahead.

We're still a ways from "Back to School," but in Egypt, the Muslim Brotherhood has been celebrating "Rush Week."

Paula Deen has fired her long-time agent. I'm sure he's writing the thank you note even as we speak.

38% of American workers don't have paid sick leave. Oh, you get time off when you're sick, you just have to use your vacation days. That's why, whenever I feel a cold coming on, I book a trip to Hawaii.

This year is the can of beer's 80th birthday. I suggest we celebrate by putting the technology to work!

The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council says that Americans put away 150-mllion hot dogs over the 4th of July weekend. I'm shocked---there's a National Hot Dog and Sausage Council?

The 150-million did include at least 4-million hot dogs that went on the grill at 7-11, but probably won't be served for another month or two.

Absolutely true -- there was the Cleveland Browns fan who died and requested in his will that six players from the team be pall bearers, "so they could let me down one last time."

Radio bud Bruce Murdock asks: "Why would George Clooney break up with Stacy Keibler? Smart, beautiful and all those elves making cookies... "

Maybe they just weren't right for each other! Sure Stacy Keibler is young, gorgeous and has a smokin' hot body, but something whatever you know stuff.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving "The View," which will leave only 5 people talking at the same time.

A video of Justin Bieber urinating into a hotel mop bucket is making the rounds on the Internet. I still prefer the piano-playing cat.

Hostess Twinkies return to store shelves next weekend. Two words come to mind: Zombie Food.

Mexico has passed the U.S. as the most obese country.  Don't get excited and think we're losing weight--they just out-ate us.

I suppose wearing the black arm band because Halle Berry is said to be getting married this weekend is a bit much.

Bobby Rich says that because the movie is such a bomb, "The Lone Ranger" is feeling more alone than ever before.

Now we know why he wears the mask.

TOP FIVE POSSIBLE MARKETING SLOGANS FOR EGYPT

  1.     "You say you want a revolution, well, you know"
  2.     "Sphinx don't stink."
  3.     "It's great to be in d' Nile"
  4.     "Come before our next government change"
  5.     "The land of the original pyramid scheme"

TOP FIVE SIGNS THAT GUY MIGHT BE THE NATIONAL HOT DOG EATING CHAMP

  1.     Every year, he gets a birthday card and flowers from Oscar Mayer
  2.     Then there's that "Hot Dog Vacuum" tattoo on his back
  3.     He's got a "ketchup" tattoo on one arm and "mustard" on the other
  4.     The guy is wearing a racing bib
  5.     He has a bungee cord for a belt

Laugh a little, would ya?
                                    Tim

PS--Don't miss our Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--Weed never let this happen at our house.  Details on my blog
PSPSPS--A brand-new website and the new home of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack