This Week's Wacks
Our 949th Edition
"One of these years I should probably cut back to March Just-Slightly-Bitter-ness"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial

March 28th, 2014

Fred Phelps, the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church -- the one that protested at military funerals and gay pride events -- died last week, at age 84. My guess is, hell has had another log thrown on the fire.

A Virginia man found a $1 Million winning lottery ticket while cleaning out his wallet. In a related story, I found another Kleenex in someone's pants while cleaning out the dryer.

The federal government spent over a million dollars on booze last year. So, if you thought congress was spending money like a bunch of drunken sailors, you could be right.

I look at the number of correct guesses versus the number of wrong guesses in my March Madness brackets and I realize -- I could have been a weather forecaster!!

Does anyone else look at what's going on over in the Ukraine and feel like we're just watching an invasion, but in slow motion?

The Disneyland ride "It's a Small World" turns 50 this year. It's already received three applications from AARP.

It's the weirdest thing--some of the Russian dolls are trying to take over other areas of the attraction.

Pole dancing's first-ever award show, the Pole World News Awards, was held in Los Angeles earlier this week. It wasn't broadcast nationally because, face it -- like you're going to be able to turn that on at home?

There's a new study out that says an ingredient in tequila can help protect against diabetes. Or, if nothing else, make you care less.

The G8 countries have kicked out Russia. Now, it's just the G7. Too bad, Russia: you could have had a G8!

A report says that Transnistria could be Russia's next target.  Of course, my first question was, "There's a country called Transnistria?"

A new study claims that older fathers result in uglier kids.  Of course, I can't help but think that Larry King really affected the curve.

A company in North Carolina is selling a bicycle and car hybrid for $5,000.  Hey, if I'm going to spend $5,000 on something, I'm NOT going to want to peddle.

Oh-oh.  Russian leader Vladimir Putin has just amassed troops outside of the place running his March Madness pool.  Well, that's one way to win.

Idina Menzel says she doesn't hold a grudge for being introduced as "Adele Dazeem" at the Oscars. Anyone could get a name wrong.  Even Tom Travolta!

McDonald's is experimenting with an upscale "Signature" menu in Switzerland that includes a burger that costs $12.  I'm old enough to remember when that was a family's weekly budget at McDonalds

Vladimir Putin is starting to sound a little crazy. Now he's talking about taking over some areas that used to be part of Governor Chris Christie.

Michelle Obama continues her visit to China. I can't pronounce the nickname they gave her, but loosely translated it means, "Woman who pushes broccoli."


  1.     Elmer Fudd's successful drive for a year 'round Wabbit Season
  2.     The sugar-free jelly bean shortage
  3.     His Peeps have laryngitis
  4.     The big push for gluten-free grass
  5.     All these darn requests for non-dairy Easter eggs


  1.     The snow feels warmer
  2.     Rose McGowan is blooming
  3.     That annoying neighbor has started mowing his damn lawn
  4.     Vladimir Putin sending his troops out to exercise in Crimea
  5.     Robin in yard holding sign, "No GMO worms!"

Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--George Takei offers up one that doesn't need words on our Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS-- A couple of lighter items this week on my blog. Click here
PSPSPS--Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack