This Week's Wacks
Our 953rd Edition
"Exactly 8 months away from Christmas!"
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April 25th, 2014
There's a new 50th Anniversary edition of the Ford Mustang. All of the colors have a little bit of gray on the side and it occasionally forgets why it went into that garage.
A 13 year old boy and 12 year old girl have become Britain's youngest parents. Nice they could time out delivery to hit spring break.
Michaels is reporting a security breach affecting as many as 3-million of its customers. Apparently the hackers were pretty crafty... which makes sense.
I was feeling all a Twitter... then I remembered I have Facebook and Instagram, too.
I don't need to know how the universe was created or how we got here. The only deep secret of life I want to know is: so, why are gas prices going up again?
Vice-President Joe Biden is on way to Kiev to speak with Ukrainian leaders. It also prevented him from pushing kids out of the way at yesterday's White House Easter Egg Roll.
Miley Cyrus has been forced to postpone her "Bangerz" tour because of antibiotics. Nice to know there's a cure.
A new report claims that posing with a dog in your online dating profile makes you more desirable... unless, of course, you're in a wedding gown.
KFC has brought back their "Double Down!" Be still my beating heart... right after lunch...
A Southwest Airlines pilot who became famous for landing at the wrong airport has retired. He plans to spend his golden years in Mexico and just bought a place in Toronto.
According to a new survey, being a mathematician is the best job in America. Why do I think those numbers are cooked?
Comic book hero Flash Gordon has turned 80. Probably ought to knock off that flashing now...
After 20 years of marriage, Cuba Gooding Jr.'s wife has filed for divorce. Now, someone's saying "Show me the money!" to him!!
The Gameboy turned 25 this week. It finally gets lower car insurance rates.
Seriously -- shouldn't it be known now as a Game Man?
Las Vegas is being pressured to try to save water... to which most Vegas homeowners respond, "Want to make it interesting?"
Bill Murray's just at that age. The other day on Twitter, he asked, "Why fall in love when you can just fall asleep?"
An Oregon rancher has killed a 500-pound black bear that was eating his cattle. Now the cows can relax until he has the chance to slaughter them.
Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson has filed for divorce from his wife. Makes me wonder if there was a 13th man……
Amanda Bynes has gotten her driver's license back. Consider yourself warned…
Justin Bieber is seeking a delay in his Florida DUI trial. In Justin's defense, it would seriously cut into his Cinco de Mayo.
TOP FIVE WAYS YOU CAN TELL SUMMER IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
- The snow seems warmer
- The amount of sugar in the gas tanks of lawn mowers up 100%
- You keep hearing the phrase "Allergy Hell"
- The Seattle Mariners have already been eliminated
- A young man's fancy has his blinker on
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR GYPSY FORTUNE TELLER ISN'T VERY GOOD
- Former TV weather forecaster
- Can't even predict what day is coming up tomorrow
- Doesn't use Tarot cards. It's a deck from Target.
- Crystal ball is actually plastic
- "I'm having trouble see in the future if you're going to pay... "
Laugh a little, would ya?
Tim
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