This Week's Wacks
Our 956th Edition
"Why didn't we come up with 2-day work weeks and 5-day weekends?"
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May 16th, 2014

Well, once again, all that sucking up to mom is over for another year.

A Florida man is demanding the right to marry his computer. Sounds like the guy has already gone on the honeymoon.

A study says that coffee may be good for people's eyes. Well, when you think about it, they are much more useful when they're open.

I'd just like to say, "Thanks, mom!" Well, that and "Sorry about forgetting that was yesterday."

Noah has become the most popular boys name in the U.S. Raise him to be a boat builder and you're doubling your chances of surviving, in case God ever thinks about a round 2.

A study says that nagging by a spouse can shorten a person's life. Or, make it seem longer, depending on your perspective.

So, the interviewer asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" and after thinking about it, I replied, "Probably the same mirror as now." Could be why I didn't get the job.

This is "American Craft Beer Week"... to which I reply, "Isn't every week?"

A judge has ordered an investigation into the whereabouts of Casey Kasem after an attorney for the ailing radio personality's wife said the former "Top 40" host had been removed from the country. And now, back to the countdown.....

Remind me -- why am I still listening to what Donald Sterling says?

AT&T are trying to buy Direct TV. They hope the deal comes together today, sometime between 9 and 5.

A new study says that most people have "unwanted thoughts." Funny, I was thinking that very thing a moment ago, even though I didn't want to.

A guy got a tattoo on his leg of the KFC Double Down sandwich. Apparently, as he gets older, he wants to remember what killed him.

A survey says that one in ten Americans don't carry paper money anymore. Some because they use debit and credit cards... but most because they just don't have any!

A report says that younger adults are less likely to relocate for a job. Try this one out -- yell, "Hey, why don't you go outside and mow the lawn?" See. They were right.

A study says the smell of a new baby has the same effect on women as chocolate. Yes, but you don't have to send chocolate to college.

European courts have condemned Google and Facebook, saying that people have "the right to be forgotten." To which Erkel, Alf and the cast of "Hey, Dude!" replied, "We do?"

Today my horoscope said I shouldn't believe in astrology and I don't know what to do.

Prince Harry has sent his first official tweet.  Well, actually, the Royal Tweeter did that for him.

Two studies in the British Health Journal have found that too much exercise can cause health problems.  Thank God, some good news!

The Montreal Canadiens knocked the Boston Bruins out of the Stanley Cup.  Who knew Canadians were so good at hockey?


  1.     Two-Diaper
  2.     The Babysitter
  3.     Troy Sarus
  4.     Lemonado
  5.     Play Pen


  1.     The "Wow, glad THAT'S over" crack at the end of the day
  2.     Taking her to the living room to watch hockey. Really? That's it?
  3.     The gift certificate for the taxidermy classes
  4.     That stack of Mother's Day dishes in the Mother's Day sink
  5.     The oil change kit
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--George Takei offers this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS-- What's so special about tomorrow?  Details on my blog
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