This Week's Wacks
Our 963rd Edition
"Happy birthday, America!  What do you get for a country that has everything?."
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July 4th, 2014

A new study has linked watching too much TV with an early death. Good thing we've cut back on TV and we're watching more movies!

A study says there is no link between insomnia and high blood pressure. Interesting that upsets me so much, I can't sleep.

Uruguay's Luis Suarez is being criticized for biting an Italian player's shoulder. Hey, who among us has never said, "I feel like a little Italian."?

You know, watching all this World Cup on the computer at work is really cutting into my Facebook time at work!

A food truck with marijuana infused sandwiches is making the rounds in Washington State. Definitely a case of the ala carte before the horse.

Yes, marijuana becomes available over-the-counter this week in Washington state. Finally, something that can make me both lazy and eat more at the same time!!! That's what my life was missing!

Comedian Jen Seaman wishes she had a t-shirt that said, "I'm not a cutter I just own cats."

BP estimates there are 53.3 years' worth of oil left in the world. Boy, it's going to suck when I'm 113.

A survey says that New York City is the most stressed city in the U.S.. If you can lose it there, you can lose it anywhere.

Jill Farren Phelps has not been fired from the daytime soap, "The Young and the Restless." How many of you are shocked by that? How many are even more surprised that "The Young and the Restless" is still on the air?

The Supreme Court has ruled that private employers can refuse to pay for birth control on religious grounds. Now that I have the Supreme Court to back me up, I'm going to tell my boss that working on Fridays is against my religion. In the stricter sects, Thursdays are out, too.

I wonder how Switzerland has a soccer team, when all their fans are always so neutral. "Yay, we hope we win or lose! Or even tie!"

Shia LaBeouf was arrested last week. Frankly, I thought that should have happened after his last Transformers movie.

President Obama has named the former CEO of Procter and Gamble as the new head of the Veterans Administration. According to the president, his BOLD choice was a GAIN for the VA, and hopes he can DASH the TIDE of negativity with the BOUNTY of his wisdom.. I counted five PG products in there.

Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford is back on duty after a stint in rehab, with 4 months left on his current term. Place your bets!

I think I have the right to know. But how would I know if I actually know it or not? Because if I already do know it, there's nothing new to know. You know?

Yesterday was "World U.F.O. Day"... or so the mothership tells me.

I never got around to running, but because of the high grasses right now, my nose did.

U.S. soccer goal had so many saves in that last World Cup game, he broke the previous record in that stadium held by Billy Graham.

Southwest Airlines has announced their first international flights... if you don't include the luggage that had previously ended up there.

Elton John says that Jesus would support gay marriage. Jesus reportedly didn't comment on that, but did say that Elton hasn't had a really great album since "Yellow Brick Road.

Scientists say that hair samples from what people claim are Bigfoot are found to be mostly from bears, wolves and Russell Brand.

The Census Bureau says that more than two thirds of all Baby-Boomers are overweight or obese. In fact, they say that half of all Baby-Boomers make up 2/3's of them.

Robin Williams was actually in rehab over the weekend, "fine-tuning" his sobriety.  If nothing else, he saved a lot of money on fireworks.

It's that time of year when "50% off 4th of July" stuff is competing for shelf space with the "Back to School" stuff.


  1.     Measle World
  2.     Lego's from the doctor's office Land
  3.     Semi-Safe Trampoline World
  4.     That Alligator Petting Zoo
  5.     Poison Ivy Park


  1.     "So, Lindsay, do you want to drive?"
  2.     "What could possibly go wrong?"
  3.     "Hey, watch this while I light it and hold on to it until the last second."
  4.     "Let's light it and hold on to it until the last second!"
  5.     "Hey, watch this!"

Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--George Takei with an appropriate Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--Happy birthday, America!  Wouldn't celebrate it any other way.  Details on my blog
PSPSPS--Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack