This Week's Wacks
Our 965th Edition
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July 18th, 2014

The world's tallest water slide at 168-feet high has opened in Kansas City. Riders can get a first-hand feeling of what it would be like to be running the "Christie for President" campaign.

Amazon wants to continue drone-delivery tests. Now, the real trick -- getting the enemy to order the bombs.

Something new at Target Field in Minneapolis for baseball's All-Star game: self-serve beer machines, where you choose the beer you want and pay by the ounce. May I just be the first to say, Thank God for technology.

I just want to say that the name of the Cleveland Browns offends me, but only in the summer when I'm tan.

So, I'm walking down the street and a guy robs me. I yell out, "Help me, Supermoon!" Nothing.

There is now a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids. They say it's so crowded, it's standing room only... which is probably for the better.

One day I'm going to wake up and be less indecisive. I'm not sure if today is the day. Well, that answers that!

Do you ever feel like you talk to yourself too much? Yes, I do. Whew, I thought it was just me.

Robin Thicke is teaming up with 1-800-Flowers in creating a $350 "Get her back" bouquet of 100 roses. I believe it's called the "Going from romantic to borderline creepy" boquet.

Lindsay Lohan says she may leave the U.S. for good. Of course, most people react the same way: Can I help you pack?

"If I have but one goal in life, it is to be remembered forever!"--anonymous

Just in case you don't appreciate subtlety, Derek Jeter is playing in his last season.

A new tool called Wi-Fi Honk can alert pedestrians through their cellphone they are about to be hit by a car. Now if we can just develop an app that reminds us why we walked into that room...

A new reality show has couples getting married to each other on their first meeting. I'm reminded of the words of Larry King, who once said, "I never met a woman I didn't marry."

The World Cup has been declared as the most talked about event on social media ever. The most common tweet by American fans: "Hey, aren't one of these teams supposed to score?"

A study says that Germans are the most likely people to take part in nude sunbathing. And Heidi Klum is German. Isn't that a wonderful coincidence?

A 107 year old Minnesota woman says the secret to her longevity is never drinking alcohol or dancing. And, even if it isn't really longer, it'll just seem longer.

An Internet dating site says that Amazon employees are hotter than Google or Facebook workers. What's even better -- the Prime employees will deliver, guaranteed, in two days!

The CDC says that one in four Americans admit they do no exercise at all. Which of course means that 75% of Americans are liars.

At Major League Baseball's All Star Game Tuesday night, Idina Menzel sang the National Anthem. Unfortunately, John Travolta introduced her as Manny Mota.

The Fox sports broadcasters announcing the All Star Game said Derek Jeter's name at least 160-times Tuesday night. Unfortunately, we were doing a Tony Gwynn drinking game and his name didn't come up once.

Microsoft confirms it will layoff 14% of it's work force, giving 18,000 employees the boot. Or, as they call it, the reboot.


  1.     They stole your towels
  2.     The room didn't have any extras, like a bed
  3.     The mini-bar is a beer in a bag of ice
  4.     You thought you saw the bedspread move
  5.     Well, for starters, the name of the place is the One Star Hotel


  1.     Last night while sleeping, you found out you have a pop-up timer
  2.     You need a pot holder to open the bathroom door
  3.     You can actually bake a cake while holding the batter in your living room
  4.     Your cactus just burst into flame
  5.     The can of corn in the cupboard just popped
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--George Takei has one for the Game of Thrones fans on the Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--I just had to touch on a touchy subject.  Details on my blog
PSPSPS--Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack