This Week's Wacks
Our 971st Edition
"And Larry King wins the rice bucket challenge (think number of times married)'"
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August 29th, 2014

The NFL is asking the band Coldplay for some of their future earnings to play the Super Bowl half time show. Oh and three dates with Gwyneth Paltrow.

New data says that the average American spent $35,498 in 2012. Most of that at Starbucks.

Ukrainian 16 year old Lolita Richi says her Barbie doll proportioned 32F bra size and 20 inch waist are natural with no plastic surgery, photoshopping or dieting. She's also insisting that her boyfriend's name, Kenski, is his real name!

Suzanne Somers is blaming the producers of "Three's Company" for ruining her TV career. The Thighmaster Company was next in line.

The biggest reason I want them to figure out the time-travel thing is so that we can wake up on a Monday and get right to Friday.

Christina Aguilera has named her new baby "Summer Rain." Her nickname will be "Seattle."

Some people are saying that President Obama is spending too much on the golf course during these trying times, which generated a firm, "That's not true!" from his caddy.

They've had over 500 aftershocks in the Napa Valley since Sunday's big earthquake. That explains their most popular product these days -- self-opening champagne.

Disney stock has hit a new high... although, not as much as an admission ticket to the park.

A new study claims that having a big wedding means a better chance of a good marriage. Now I'm getting nervous about our little ceremony down at the 7-11...

A company in Washington State is planning to sell marijuana-infused coffee.  I'm thinking of the name, "Starbummer."

A new study claims that animals are getting smarter.  Is that it, or are people just getting dumber?

An Iranian Ayatollah says that high speed Internet is immoral and inhumane.  Well, I've been saying Comcast is the antichrist for years.

Bill Hader says that Justin Bieber was one of the worst guest hosts ever on "Saturday Night Live."  At least now it'll be easy to figure out who egged Bill Hader's house.

A new study claims that using marijuana makes you less likely to become addicted to pain killers. Mostly because you can't remember where they are...

A new study says that 9% of people don't have a really close friend. I think I may be one of those people. We should form a club and not meet once a month!

Washington State is selling cannabis-infused soft drinks. $10 a bottle. If they're looking for a name, how about "Soda Pot?"

In experiments on mice, scientists were able to change bad memories to good ones.  This could be a major breakthrough for Cubs fans!


  1.     "Oh, don't worry. It's only television"
  2.     "Wow, you're almost tied with Susan Lucci!"
  3.     "Thinking about a career change?"
  4.     "You know, I voted for you. Yeah, I was the vote."
  5.     "They say winning isn't everything, but you know, it really is."


  1.     She saw the vacuum and asked, "What's that?"
  2.     Using the feather duster upside down
  3.     The first thing she says every time she arrives is, "Looks good enough!"
  4.     Wrote "Need a raise" in the dust on the coffee table
  5.     She hasn't come for six months and you didn't notice
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--If you're a "Game of Thrones" fan you HAVE to see this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--I went outside the comfort zone. Details on my blog
PSPSPS--Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack