This Week's Wacks
Our 973rd Edition
"Remember, it's the little things that make the big things seem large"
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September 12th, 2014

It's "Fashion Week" in New York. Otherwise, known to guys as "Some clothes thing going on the first week of football season where the Jets and Giants play."

The CEO of Apple says they will add new security alerts for iCloud users in two weeks. "As soon as they're done downloading the rest of those Jennifer Lawrence pictures."

Albert Brooks tweeted this last week: "We are definitely not alone in the universe. However the other inhabitants most likely hate us."

Google is reportedly working on a quantum computer chip that makes machines think like humans. Wouldn't it be ironic if the first thing it did was search for something using Bing?

Starbucks admits there is no actual pumpkin in its Pumpkin Spice Latte. I don't know about you, but I wasn't really counting on there being any actual frap in my Frappuccino.

I'm feeling bad for those celebrities who had their nude pictures leaked. But why would you store something you don't want anyone to see someplace that you can't even see?

Five geckos sent into space as part of an experiment have all died. These are the ones who thought selling car insurance was beneath them.

Students in Australia have designed a robotic couch that drives the occupant to the refrigerator. In a related story, Richard Simmons announced, "OK, I give up!

Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their second child. Pretty irresponsible, considering neither of them really has a job.

Yes, another heir in the royal soup...

Olive Garden is offering a Never-Ending Pasta Pass, where you can get all-you-can-eat pasta for 7 weeks for $100. Perfect for those Americans struggling to carbo load.

The Never-Ending Pasta Pass is good for seven weeks or until you can't fit in the door, whichever comes first.

The price of milk has hit an all-time high. Apparently the cows got a new agent.

Starbucks is planning to open about 100 new upscale coffee shops with more expensive coffee. That ought to fix the low-price crisis.

President Obama went on national TV Wednesday night to layout his plans to fight ISIS. And as long as they don't have access to television, we should be able to surprise them.

Apple's big announcement this week: they've introduced the iPhone 6 and the iPhone 6+, which will be sold at Lane Bryant.

Apple also has rolled out some new iCloud pricing. From what I hear, it's the place to store your nude photos... unless, of course, you want them kept private.

Dear Lord, I don't need to remember everything. Just what I changed my password to. Amen.

A new study says the most reliable workers get 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night. I must hang around a very unreliable crowd.

South African athlete Oscar Pistorius has been found not guilty, even though many felt he didn't have a.oh, I'll let you finish that one.

A giant solar flare from the sun on Wednesday may result in communication problems in the next several gzyohen7ys.

Using DNA evidence, Jack the Ripper has been identified after 130 years.  Although, we hear the NFL was sent a film back in 1919.

The new Apple Watch can track your movements to tell you how much you've exercised in a day.  It's already given me the nickname, "Kushy job."

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU PROBABLY BETTER CHECK ON THE KIDS IN THE OTHER ROOM

  1.     It's quiet
  2.     A camel just ran out of the room
  3.     Did I just hear the babysitter's voice from two nights ago?
  4.     Should I not worry, just because it's white smoke coming from the room?
  5.     Just a moment ago, it sounded like a tank was in there

TOP FIVE SIGNS IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG FOOTBALL SEASON

  1.     Coach just asked, "OK, who wants to pitch?"
  2.     Star quarterback sidelined three weeks with a paper-cut injury
  3.     The team cheerleaders all filed for unemployment
  4.     You're being featured in the new documentary, "How not to play football"
  5.     Your next opponent is already spotting you 10 points
Laugh a little, would ya?                 
                    Tim

PS--George Takei retakes his page today in our Facebook Post of the Week
PSPS--It's that day again. Details on my blog
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