This Week's Wacks
Our 983rd Edition
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November 21st, 2014

A study says that Vitamin B and folic acid supplements don't help people with their memory. There was a third thing, but I don't remember what it was...

Randy Jackson says he won't be returning to "American Idol" after 13 seasons. Funny, I made that decision after 7 seasons.

In Beaumont, California, two people have lined up over two weeks early at Best Buy for Black Friday. We don't know what they do for a living, but we have pretty much ruled out everything.

According to a new report, Detroit, Michigan, is the most dangerous city in the country with Oakland, California, coming in second. Apparently, Chicago is just not trying hard enough.

Radio Shack says it will open its stores at 8am on Thanksgiving Day, so that the people who work there will hate their jobs even more!

Nothing more futile than seeing a turkey buying Christmas lights....

The LAPD is using technology to determine where and when crimes are most likely to occur. Wasn't this a Tom Cruise movie?

Pope Francis I has said that "Heaven is a party." It would make sense that Hell is, too, except they're selling Tupperware.

Arizona State University has installed a prescription drug vending machine on campus. What could possibly go wrong?

Brazil has sentenced three people to more than 20 years in prison for cannibalism. Down there, when they say they're not eating McDonald's any more, they're talking about their neighbors.

Candy maker Mars says the world is running out of chocolate. Time to send off that mission to the planet Mocha.

Mass murderer Charles Manson is going to marry a 26-year-old woman who has been a frequent visitor. Son-in-laws across the country just got a major approval upgrade.

Saw this on Facebook: A recent shows that women with a little extra weight live far longer than the men who mention it.

Tommy Chong was voted off of "Dancing with the Stars" this week. He should realize it by next week.

Convicted mass murderer Charles Manson is engaged to a 26-year-old woman who was a frequent visitor. Right now, they're figuring out where to go on the honeymoon: the cafeteria or the exercise yard.

Can you believe a week from today, we'll be gorging on food, stuffing ourselves and then passing out on the couch while watching football. Of course, I've got that planned for tonight, too.

We're hearing that President Obama is going to announce his immigration order tomorrow in Las Vegas. Hey, if you're going to gamble, it's a natural.

A study says that people trust social media less than any other form of communication. Of course, since I saw that on Facebook, I'm not sure I believe it.

The NFL surprised several teams after Sunday's game after reports of prescription drug abuse. The Oakland Raiders were NOT among those checked. I mean, even if they were, with this season? We have to give them something.

Buffalo has broken the U.S. record with 76 inches of snow in 24 hours.  It's like a Super Bowl.  Sort of…..

A restaurant owner in L.A. has pleaded guilty to serving whale meat. An investigator was watching and when he saw the waitress with the whale meat, stood up and yelled, "Thar she serves!"

The L.A. auto show is underway this week.  It's where all the cool and fancy cars are parked for people to look out.  Of course, that's pretty much true on the freeways, too.


  1.     "Basted Days and Basted Nights"
  2.     "I'm dreaming of a White... ... meat dish"
  3.     "Little drumsticks boy"
  4.     "Santa Gravy"
  5.     "Someone nearby roasting on an open fire... "


  1.     Pointing at each other and saying, "He's fatter!"
  2.     Joining Henny Craig
  3.     Coughing and chugging bottles of "Thera-flu"
  4.     Barking
  5.     Announcing that they're Democrats (no one's choosing them)


  1.     "Playeth football on Thanksgiving?"
  2.     "What doest thou mean, Cyber Monday?"
  3.     "That's called, what? Twerking?"
  4.     "Tofurkey? Why can't we just eat the bird?"
  5.     "Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving? Witch!!!!"
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--George Takei offers this classroom note on our Facebook Post of the Week
PSPS--A very special soda.  Details on my blog
PSPSPS--Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
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