This Week's Wacks
Our 985th Edition
"It's beginning to look a lot like....PANIC!"
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December 12th, 2014

Ferrari now has a model that would cost you $3.1–million... like you wouldn't quit your job first.

A report says that 8% of Americans suffer from depression. I had no idea there were that many Oakland Raiders fans.

Snooki's husband has pleaded guilty to DUI two days after getting married. Yeah, I'm wondering what took so long, too...

A report says the California drought is the worst in 1,200 years. Larry King says he remembers the last one being much worse.

A study says there are more than 10-million bacteria living on office desks... if you call that living.

CBS' "Two and a Half Men" will have its series finale in February. I can't wait to not watch it.

You know, they say Santa "Knows if you are sleeping and knows if you're awake." Uh, doesn't that make him a bit of a stalker? Just sayin'...

Tuesday night was the annual Victoria's Secret Holiday Fashion Show. I didn't remind you earlier to help you avoid problems during the holidays.

A marine biologist in California discovered a very rare 12-pound lobster. That ties in perfectly with the 12 days of Christmas -- a pound of lobster a day. Well, perfectly, except for the lobster.

Harvard scientists claim they have invented an obesity pill that transforms 'bad' fat to 'good'... which could replace the need for exercise. Just make them bacon-flavored and we're done!

President Obama met with Prince William in the Oval Office. When asked if he hoped to be king someday, Obama replied, "Not with this congress!"

William and Kate wanted to see an NBA game while they were in New York, especially since the Knicks were playing Cleveland. That way their first experience would be the King James edition.

It seems weird that they have a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show so close to Christmas. Then again, not any odder than the Frederick's of Hollywood Easter Special.

The football coach at Columbia University has resigned after allegations of making players continue playing after suffering concussions. Players defended the coach saying that he never coddled egg couch long-sleeve chew toy.

NBC stands for "Nothing But Cancellations," right?

A Korea Air executive caused a flight to be delayed 20 minutes while she chewed out flight attendants for not opening her bag of macadamia nuts. Sounds like at least one nut got out of the pouch.

Scientists say that Mars was once warm, wet and humid. Then again, so was Betty White. (oh, c'mon, SHE would laugh!)

According to a new survey, over half of Americans don't want their kids to play football. 97% if the Oakland Raiders are on the table.

Lufthansa Airlines will soon allow pet falcons on their flights.  Now, to train one to retrieve things from first class…..

The Senate released a 600 page report condemning the CIA's enhanced interrogation program.  Ironically, reading it was torture.

Starbucks is trying out an upscale version of its stores-called the  Reserve® Roastery and Tasting Room.  Apparently, its like a Starbucks but even more expensive.

The government says the price of gasoline will average $2.60 a gallon through 2015.  Hey, they've never been wrong before!

Time Magazine has named "Ebola Fighters" as their 2014 Person of the Year.  They'll each receive an award, but presenters will skip the hug this year.

This past week, a woman gave birth on a Southwest Airlines flight. What some people won't do to avoid the carry on fee.

The University of Michigan is offering a class on "Orange is the New Black."  It's held right after another class popular with football fans called,  "Losing is the new winning."

The animated Christmas Special "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" turns 50 this year.  I liked the special touch they added, when Christmas is almost canceled because of a deluge of A.A.R.P. junk mail.

A survey says that half of all Millennials think that getting a raise at work is a right.  I hate to break this to you, guys, but I think the forefathers overlooked that one.

Cheerio's is coming out with a new 'Ancient Grains' cereal that mixes traditional oats with quinoa.  I'm holding out until they come out with Kale-O's.

Alex Rodriguez has been working out and sending videos to the Yankees.  The last one he sent was "Tammy"-I really don't think that's going to help his cause.


  1.     Putting plain tobacco in his pipe
  2.     Putting the blinker on the sleigh when he leaves on Christmas Eve
  3.     Washing the red suit in with the whites
  4.     Hair removal in his beard wax
  5.     Sugar-free candy canes


  1.     "Dancer With the Stars"
  2.     "Parent Hoof"
  3.     "The Buck List"
  4.     "C.S.I. -- North Pole"
  5.     "Once Upon a Roof"
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

PS--A special salute to my Canadian friends this week on our Facebook Post of the Week
PSPS--Is that Jolly Old St. Nick? Far from it.  Get the story on my blog  (where it's actually snowing right now)
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