This Week's Wacks
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January 23rd, 2015

The company that owns Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas has filed for bankruptcy. The casino will probably close unless they can somehow pull off a "hail Caesar."

U.S. astronauts aboard the International Space Station had to move to the Russian sector after fears of a toxic leak. Unfortunately for the Americans, they arrived the day after "borscht night."

54 people have been arrested in France for "hate speech." It's tricky there, because you want to dislike "hate speech." You just have to be careful, how much.

Snoop Dogg has become a grandfather for the first time at age 43. I can imagine his name will be something like "Grandpa Puff."

Did you hear who won the Critic's Choice Awards? Better yet, did you even know they were happening?

Liam Neeson said, after the attacks in Paris, that there are too many guns in America. Someone will have to let him know they moved Paris over to France.

Christmas does last all year long if you bought way too many holiday stamps.

Sunday's Seahawks game was like the ultimate round of "The Farmer in the Dell." And now, the cheese stands alone...

FOX is being sued by a watch company for a deal that went bad over making commemorative "24" watches. Because they didn't want it to go public, FOX is ticked that they talked.

Tony Verna, who is credited with inventing the instant replay, has died at age 81. Let's hear that again. Tony Verna, who is credited with inventing the instant replay, has died at age 81.

OK, let me get these out of my system. When my Seahawks won Sunday, I was thinking:

  •     As Green Bay losses go, this has to be one of the all-time grates.
  •     Dis counts. Double-check!
  •     Now the Packers can just go home and no longer have to pack.

It's hard for me to hear that Green Bay Packer fans have nothing to hang their heads about when they all have a giant block of cheese on them.

Kate Middleton says yes, she's noticing some grey hairs. Parenting will do that to you.

The New Kids on the Block have announced a tour. Spoiler alert: they're not that new.

Former NFL playerJerramy Stevens was arrested for DUI in Los Angeles, with his wife, soccer star Hope Solo, in the car. Lindsay Lohan says it's hard to keep up and it's fair with two of them.

This past Monday was identified as "Blue Monday," the saddest day of the year. I don't see how -- because it was a holiday, my VISA bill didn't arrive until Tuesday.

Facebook's oldest user just celebrated her 107th birthday. However, she did accidentally injure herself while liking a post.

Scientists have concluded that people don't load their dishwashers correctly. Apparently we must have figured out the cancer thing and have moved on to dishwasher etiquette.

The New England Patriots used under-inflated footballs in their win against the Colts. All I can say is that their fine for under-inflated balls better be more than what the NFL dings Marshawn Lynch for grabbing his.

If you ask Microsoft's Cortana virtual assistant the question, "What do you think about the Seattle Seahawks?" it will reply, "It's hard to say, but if I were a bettin' AI, I wouldn't put my money on the Seattle Seahawks right now." Funny. I feel the same way about Windows 10.

There's the movie "Unbroken." If the Patriots do win the Super Bowl this year and they make a movie about it, you could call it "Un-inflated."

OK, maybe to make it fair, all of New England's footballs in the Super Bowl should be oiled. Just sayin'...

A report says that Facebook has been cited in a third of all divorce cases. If you're searching for a "Like" button right now, you're on it too much.

The Mayor of Paris says she will sue Fox News for insulting the city's image. President Obama and a large group of Democrats said, "Get in line!"

A study says that walking on breaks with coworkers can make people feel better. I know that works for me. Except I go for a drive and I'm by myself.

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU PROBABLY NEED A NEW QUARTERBACK

  1.     Insists on using a gluten-free football
  2.     Complains about being allergic to the end zone
  3.     He went 19-for-19 last week, if you include the 18 interceptions
  4.     Only endorsement deal he can get is with "The Biggest Loser"
  5.     There was that three week hangnail injury

TOP FIVE WORST EXCUSES FOR NOT CLEANING OUT THE GARAGE

  1.     I'm trying to keep my 7 year streak alive.
  2.     I heard someone say it's an historical site.
  3.     I can't get the door open
  4.     I heard something growling in there
  5.     There's a bank robber on the loose and he could be in there
Laugh a little, would ya?                 
                    Tim

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