This Week's Wacks
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February 27th, 2015
Bill Cosby is applauding Eddie Murphy for refusing to imitate him in a comedy sketch for the 40th Anniversary of SNL. He should have stopped there, but now, to say thanks, Bill says he's going to name a drink after Eddie.
The Oscars -- a gathering of political activists where they also hand out trophies for movies.
Jon Cryer says he got a little teary-eyed during the finale` of "Two and a Half Men." I would have expected nothing less.
They've identified what it is in marijuana that gives you the munchies. Unfortunately, the researcher who made the discovery accidentally ate her report.
It's the 25th anniversary of Photoshop. To celebrate, we'll use it to make the box look like it's only 20.
I remember back when people said, "Name the two Dakotas," you'd say "North and South." Now, it's Fanning and Johnson.
A Connecticut man was arrested after going into a rage over getting a bad haircut. Two phrases the guy needs to learn -- "Grow up!" and "Grows back."
Starbucks has launched a home delivery service. Perfect for the ultimately lazy person who can't even brew their own.
TLC is reportedly working on a spin-off of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." My only question -- who asked for it? I want names!
Kim Jong Un shaved his eyebrows and now wears his hair sticking straight up. I still can't respect him because he hangs with Dennis Rodman.
What do we want? Immediacy!! When do we want it? Well, now. Duh!!
Few things are more satisfying than satisfaction.
A Swedish cat is said to be 29 years old. That's 4,023 in dog-person years.
I'm imagining two junior high kids talking: "What's the name of that Lady Gaga song again? " "It's Edelweiss."
A study says that 15% of American two year olds drink coffee. May I just remind you, that I thought "Starbucks for Kids" was a bit excessive.
Little Caesar's has introduced a bacon wrapped pizza. It's for those who love pizza, but don't feel that it's unhealthy enough.
I keep hearing all the excuses for Joan Rivers not being mentioned in the Oscars Memorial section, as if the show couldn't have been another 7-seconds longer.
Alex Rodriguez has reported early to the Yankees spring training camp in Florida. Couldn't happen to a nicer team.
A new study claims that heavy drinkers have the lowest IQ. Several heavy drinkers responded with, "Great. What's an IQ?"
Marijuana is now legal in Washington, D.C. A request-please aim your second-hand smoke at all those old people in congress!
A study says that fluoride in drinking water may trigger depression and weight gain. I don't know about you, but I'm using the excuse.
New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said that he is open to letting transgender people serve in the military. It's part of their new policy, "For God's sake, don't say anything-we never had this conversation."
The new James Bond movie in production features the oldest ever Bond girl. That explains one of the lines in the move: "No, not Gold Bond, JAMES Bond!"
TOP FIVE REASONS DISNEYLAND NEEDS TO INCREASE ADMISSION PRICES
- Increasing cost of stroller ankle insurance
- Want to make Mr. Toad's Wild Ride a little wilder
- Goofy's counseling
- To pay for expansion of Small World
- Elevator shoes for all 7 dwarfs
TOP FIVE INDICATIONS YOU WORE AN UGLY DRESS TO THE OSCARS
- Instead of "Who are you wearing?" they ask, "What the hell is that?"
- The red carpet refuses to let you walk on it.
- You've been asked to use the back entrance
- The designer asked that you not mention his name
- Someone mistook you for Bruce Jenner
Laugh a little, would ya?
Tim
PSPS---Ode and owed to a garage door, here on my blog
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