This Week's Wacks
Our 996th Edition
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March 6th, 2015

James Cameron is launching the first vegan elementary school in California. "Iceberg lettuce dead ahead!!!"

T.J. Maxx says it will raise workers' pay to $9 an hour... which was heartbreaking to employees who thought they were already making more than that.

Siri will soon be able to speak in Russian, Portuguese, Swedish and four other languages. That'll make a total of 8 languages she can misunderstand.

A new study says that apples are the produce with the most pesticides. No wonder they keep the doctor away.

Just remember: Faith is Tim McGraw's wife.

OK, I really don't care what color the dress is, but can we just pour a bucket of ice water on it? Or will it start that up all over again?

Pope Francis has called money, 'the devil's dung.' I always carry a bag with me, in case I need to pick some up.

A 108 year old New York man and his 105 year old wife recently celebrated their 82nd wedding anniversary together. They enjoyed a nice trip from the living room to the kitchen.

The World Health Organization says that 1-billion young people are at risk of damaging their ears from loud music. To which most responded, "Fish can damage beers when you're out of music?"

A study says that dogs remember events for no longer than two minutes. So when I walk in a room with my dog to get something and forget why I'm there, he does, too!! Good boy!

Why do people say tuna fish? Is there another kind of tuna other than a fish?

Judge Judy has struck a new deal that keeps her on TV through 2020. Now, all she has to do is negotiate an extension deal with God.

I'm getting that a guy could get elected to office these days if he changed his name to Ned Neutrality.

IKEA is coming out with furniture with wireless devices that charge your phone. Now, all we need is that recliner lawn mower and we're good.

Yes, it's true -- a guy in Texas got a tattoo of "the dress." It took longer to agree on the color of the tattoo than the tattoo itself.

OK, I missed "Free Pancake Day." Just give me a reminder when "Free Steak and Lobster Day" rolls around...

A new study claims that a glass of red wine is equivalent to a one-hour workout at the gym. Now, to figure out why I don't look like Schwarzenegger.....

Cameron Diaz says the secret to staying young is having lots of sex. This explains so much.

I'm curious -- do you think One Direction will ever turn?

Dodge is warning customers that some of its dealers are scamming customers. I'm no advertising expert, but I think this campaign could backfire.

My friend Heather said the other day, "I need a pick me up! All things accepted, flowers, coffee, chocolate, wine...."

I posted this on Facebook last night: Someone hacked into my Facebook account and posted some off-color and embarrassing material. Unless you thought it was funny. Then it was actually me.

Actress Susan Sarandon has broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years.  She's 68, he's 37 and that is a final.

A woman in Japan celebrated her 117th birthday on Wednesday.  The family all enjoyed a barbecue chicken dinner, cooked over the birthday candles.

Jeb Bush has asked his large donors not to give him more than $1 Million right away. I would just like to remind my supporters that I do NOT have that policy.

The Gallo Glass Company in Modesto, California is being accused of using hazardous waste in its bottles.  I believe they call it, 'wine'.

A new survey reveals that 15% of two year olds in Boston drink coffee.  That also explains why most kids favorite nursery rhyme is "Twinkle, twinkle, little Star…bucks."

Bruce Jenner has reportedly bought a $3.6 Million mansion in Malibu.  Apparently, it's already furnished and ready to move in.  There are even her and her's towels.

A poll says that 25% of people getting a pay raise say that it has no effect on their feeling appreciated at work.  Great-just what my boss needed to hear.

According to a new study, men are naturally programmed to want more than one woman even when in monogamous relationships.  Just not out loud.

A Nigerian woman has filed for divorce because her husband's penis is too big. I've always had that nightmare…..


  1.     "Make it to your 80s and win the lotto"
  2.     "Live long and don't move back in with us"
  3.     "Live long like Casper"
  4.     "Justin Long and Prosper"
  5.     "Liv Tyler and prosper"


  1.     Was the inspiration for the new invention -- cat spanx
  2.     Causes floor to creak when he walks -- a cement floor
  3.     He needs two collars to go around his neck
  4.     His tummy actually cleans the wood floors
  5.     For exercise, the mouse run around him
Laugh a little, would ya?                 

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PSPS---I had never heard this theory before.  Talking about secrets, here on my blog
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