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Our 1,062nd Edition
June 17th, 2016

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A study says that standing is healthier for people than sitting even if they don't walk around. I don't know about you, but I consider standing for the National Anthem my workout.

Two new government studies report that America's obesity problem is getting worse. This could be what's behind the proposed Chin Tax.

Canada is discussing a change to the words of their national anthem to make it more gender neutral. Of course, then you'd end up with a national anthem that wouldn't know which restroom to use...

A study says the best way to avoid dementia is to exercise... which is interesting because if you ever see me exercising, it's probably already started.

California has enacted its right-to-die law, just in time for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

2016 is a big year for Hamilton -- his musical won 11 Tony's AND he got to stay on the $10 bill!

A full-size replica of Noah's ark crashed into a Norwegian Coast Guard patrol boat in the Port of Oslo. Even after the zebras swore they were good drivers.

Just in time for summer, Starbucks has introduced the Double Double Fudge Bar Frappuccino. It tastes like a caffeinated Fudgesicle and has enough calories to get you into early 2019.

A new study claims that birds actually have more brain cells than apes! So, we might have other options for president after all.

The co-founder of Home Depot recently announced that he is supporting Donald Trump. To demonstrate his support, he says he's going to build a giant wall around those guys in the parking lot.

By the way, you may not have noticed--this is Palindrome week because of the dates: 6-11-16, 6-12-16, etc

The World Health Organization's research arm has downgraded its classification of coffee as a possible carcinogen. And I'm downgrading my critical nickname for them, which had been "whack job health nuts."

Microsoft has made a deal to buy professional network LinkedIn for $26.2-billion. That's one way of keeping track of your employee's job hunting...

A report says a robot that can choose to hurt humans has been invented. OK, now that you've figured that out, can we get back to trying to figure out that cancer thing?

IHOP has introduced a Denver omelet on a hamburger that contains 1,000 calories and 67 grams of fat. Probably a better name would have been the (yell) "Clear" omelet.

A study says long term pot use is linked to changes in the brain's reward system... whatever that means.

A study says long term pot use can cause serious attention deficit. I like cheese.

From Comedy Central: Buying an avocado is just the first step toward throwing away an overripe avocado.

Researchers say a 2,000-year-old hunk of butter found in Ireland may still be edible. Two words come to mind: "You first!"

Hillary Clinton says that people should not be allowed to buy a gun if they’re being investigated by the F.B.I.  She didn’t say anything about running for president….
Steve Miller’s home in the San Juan Islands is up for sale for $16-mllion. When asked if he’s planning to buy another home up there, he replied, “No. I’m just going to take the money and run.”
A NASA spacecraft, “Juno,” that launched in 2011 is scheduled to arrive at Jupiter in July to take pictures. Hopefully, it’ll arrive in time for the wedding.
Friends threw a surprise 70th birthday party for Donald Trump this week. I’m told he was actually embarrassed and turned a slight reddish-orange.

Boy, going after the banks this week:


  1. There's someone from the bank on your answering machine named Nuckles
  2. You swear your debit card just yelled out, "I wouldn't do that if I were you"
  3. You keep getting requests to switch banks in the mail... from your current bank
  4. When you put your debit card in the cash machine, it laughed
  5. The bank has named overdraft notices after you


  1. Well, there's their "Calling attention to our many fees" fee
  2. If you're French, there's something called a Fifi fee
  3. The "we have a hard time reading your writing" fee
  4. A borrow-a-pen fee?
  5. When did this drive-up window fee start?
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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