OK, we're running a tad late this week because of all the preparations for National Gullible Day tomorrow. I hope you'll take a moment (actually 7 moments) to watch that video at the top of the page.
Now, as for the funnies:
A survey says one in four people believe robots would make better politicians than people. Wow, imagine Robo-Trump 2.0.
Whenever I feel I need some time away, to be alone and away from people, I usually go to a Sears store or a theater showing an Adam Sandler movie.
Remember, home is where the heart is. Is your heart with you? Then, you’re home.
Just saw this one on Facebook: (I’m sure it’s not new) “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!”
I just asked Alexa what she thinks of Siri and she replied, “I’m partial to all A.I.’s.” I kid you not.
Scientists say they are able to reverse DNA aging in mice. Party at Mickey and Minne’s house this weekend.
Willie Nelson’s publicist is denying rumors the 83-year-old singer is near death. For that matter, so is Willie.
They're getting closer and closer to a writer's strike in Hollywood. Frankly, that would give me a chance to get caught up with everything that's out there.
Twitter is exploring a subscription-based option. I'm wondering if that means we would have to pay to get the president's Tweets, or if they would give us a way to block them?
A survey says only 18% of Americans are confident they have enough money to make for a comfortable retirement. Oh, I've got it all figured out. I just have to live until 137 to enjoy it.
The world is your oyster. Go shuck yourself.
Ted Koppel told Sean Hannity that he was bad for America. Hannity told Koppel he was bad for hair care products.
Kim Kardashian says she's trying for baby #3... because the world can never have enough Kardashians.
You know, it's odd that March Madness ends in April. Actually, that's kinda crazy, which gets us back to madness, so I guess it makes sense.
From my buddy, Mark Merchant: The mold is always greener on the other side of the cheese.
A fun little game I like to play is to see a couple from Dancing With The Stars and trying to guess which one is the star.
For the first time in its 100-year history, Crayola is going to retire a color from its 24-count box. The leading candidates are Spicer Beige, Hillary Blue and Trump Orange.
From radio brother Skip Tucker: All I'm saying is, if you want to call yourself the Lone Ranger, you shouldn't have a partner with you everywhere you go.
A clothes designer in Colombia is making a line of bulletproof fashions for celebrities and politicians. I can hear it at the next Oscars: "Who are you wearing?" "Oh, Kevlar."
There's a new book out, called "No One Cares About Crazy People." You'd have to be a nut to write something like that, so I have no interest.
Queen Elizabeth II is advertising for a Royal Pillow Fluffer. I'd like to point out that my career guidance counselor never mentioned that field...
Apparently, the current Royal Pillow Fluffer has a problem fluffing even when he's not around pillows.
It's National Book Week. Yeah, I just read that on my kindle...
Today is the day that Crayola will retire one of the colors in its 24-count box. The suspense is almost too much to bear. It turned out to be Dandelion. His exact words were, "You can't fire me, I quit!"
The Oakland Raiders are going to take up residence in Las Vegas. Apparently, they were tired of touring.
The doping ban of tennis pro Maria Sharapova is ending after 15 months. As much as I didn't even notice she was gone, I'm going to notice her even less now that she's back.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR DOG IS OUT TO GET YOU
- Skates left on stairs covered in dog slobber
- Constantly uses 25-foot leash to drag you out into busy intersections
- He was talking to cat while looking at you and it sounded like he was laughing
- Subscribed to "How to get away with it" magazine for dogs
- Ripped apart family photo album, but only tore up your photos
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER ISN'T GOOD AT HER JOB
- She swears you said that you wanted a Minion Brauts
- Has been put on suspension twice by the Fairy Godmother's Union
- Actually, she's using a training wand
- Waves her magic wand and then orders it on Amazon when you're not looking
- Turned the four mice into four rats
Laugh a little, would ya?