All things WACKY in one easy-to-delete email

They say once you go WACK, you never go back

Yes, it's the new look WACKY WEEK! If you know someone that might enjoy receiving this email, pass it along their direction and invite them to sign up. If there's someone you really don't like, you can pass this along to them, too!


Our 1,104th Edition
April 14th, 2017

It's a Good Friday. Aren't they all?
These jokes are available on a daily basic
through Radio-Online. Click here for a free demo

Last Friday was National Beer Day. And that's the last thing I remember...

Scientists have created an Artificial Intelligence brain that learns like the human mind. This thing is so smart, it's thrilled that it's not a human.

Chuck Norris has been named an honorary Texan by the state legislature. Because, after all, who'd be crazy enough to tell the guy, 'No?'

The Cleveland Zoo has announced that its rare black rhinoceros is pregnant. Apparently, that rhino-tinder app worked!

I love the sound of birds singing in the morning. But, you know -- they still don't know the words.

A new museum in Sweden is dedicated to celebrating failures. It's expecting to close any day now.

Quarterback Colin Kaepernick says that he'll now stand for the national anthem. Pretty generous offer considering it's the off-season.

Being a Mariners fan, you start out the year not sure the team will make the playoffs. A week in, you're not sure they're going to make it through the season.

Seen on Twitter: Facetious is the only English word that uses all of the vowels, in order.

Today is release day for Windows 10: Creators Update. Or, as Mac users call it, "Tuesday."

For a while, Alabama's governor was refusing to leave office. But then the state brought in a couple of guys from United Airlines, and he was outta there!

Willie Nelson says he's going to write his memoirs. At least the parts of his life he remembers. It should be an interesting pamphlet.

Alaska Airlines was rated the number one airline among U.S. carriers. While United was named top carrier of passengers among U.S. airlines.

Can the phrase, "Going all United on them" be far behind?

From my buddy Steve Smalley: United Airlines now offers four levels of service on their flights--First class, Business, Coach and Fight Club.

From Facebook:

  • Southwest has a new slogan--We beat the competition, not our passengers.
  • United Airlines has a new service--ordering Chinese to go.
  • Ellen DeGeneres says United doesn't like passengers wearing yoga pants because there's nothing to grab onto.
  • United is now offering red eye and black eye service

They say Samsung is closing to putting out a foldable phone. Weren't we there once already?

Smithfield Foods, the world's largest pork producer, has established a separate bioscience unit to expand its role in supplying pig parts for medical uses, with the ultimate goal of selling pig organs for transplanting into humans. I don't know if I'm for any technology that would turn eating bacon into cannibalism.

An Italian man was granted a divorce after claiming his wife was possessed by the devil. Show me an ex that isn't.

"The Walking Dead" has ended its most recent season with the lowest ratings in four years. Ironically, it's audience is dying.

Iowa is honoring native Ashton Kutcher for all his humanitarian projects. That explains his new movie, "Dude, where's my charity?"

This is the date that Lincoln was shot and that the Titanic hit the iceberg. April 14th's can be tough, especially if you’re just now getting started on your taxes.

Interesting how United Airlines got into trouble because a flight was overbooked. I’m thinking they’re not going to have that problem again for a while….
An Australian woman gave birth to a 13-pound baby. She’s looking into legally naming him, “One-And-Done.”  Her husband’s new nickname is “Don’t touch me.”
St. Louis is suing the NFL for $1-billion for the loss of the Rams. Now, St. Louis has an Arch and an arch enemy.
That man who was dragged off the United Airlines flight says he won’t accept their apology and has refused to accept the Pepsi they offered.
President Trump has played 16 rounds of golf in his first 80 days, one round every five days. That’s two more rounds than Jordan Spieth!

  1. Hell now officially describes itself as looking like you
  2. You borrowed the dog's chew toy
  3. Tightness in your neck goes all the way down to your ankles
  4. You believe you can actually hear the cats shedding
  5. After changing the channel on the TV, you cry
  1. Your accountant wants to meet -- in Buenos Aires
  2. Letter from accountant says, "Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you."
  3. You went to H-and-R Block and they said, "No, thank you"
  4. You handed over all your papers and the accountant said, "You're kidding, right?"
  5. "Well, the good news is you get one of our 'Screwed by Uncle Sam' T- shirts"
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
PSPS--Stalk me on Twitter for daily Wacks!
Copyright ©2017 All rights reserved, but they get boisterous when drunk

Want to change how you receive these emails? We give you options.
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list