Our 1,130th Edition
October 13th, 2017
Don't look now, but you're looking
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Yes, it's Friday the 13th. But in a year filled with hurricanes, earthquakes. droughts, floods, fires and the daily threat of a nuclear attack, bad luck really doesn't scare me anymore.
I can be comfortable on a daily basis with my age. It's when I stop to realize what year it is for my high school reunion that I feel old.
Google is introducing a hands-free camera that takes pictures by itself. Among the first people expected to buy one -- that person sitting behind you at the movie theater who won't keep quiet.
Vladimir Putin says he hasn't decided if he will seek another term as Russian President. So, he hasn't decided yet if he's going to throw his shirt in to the next election.
Archeologists say they believe they have found the grave of St. Nicholas in Turkey. According to the report, "We first used a shovel and then used a pick and I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!"
Cam Newton has issued an apology for his sexist comment the other day. He hopes it makes most of the upset broads happy.
People ask, "How can Applebee's be offering $1 Margaritas every day in October?" and, of course, the answer is obvious: they're all drunk!
Meanwhile, McDonald's is testing out a vegan burger. Well, as long as I can enjoy it with some meat fries, it's fine with me.
Seen on Twitter: I miss having a vice-president that shoots his friend in the face.
A new study says people with the most extreme political views have the happiest marriages. In fact, Rush Limbaugh's had four of them.
Apple has introduced hundreds of new emojis including a hedgehog, giraffe and broccoli. Thank God that crisis has been averted.
The National Sleep Foundation says chronic sleep loss can result in weight gain, high blood pressure and heart disease. I'd just like to add, "Well, duh!"
No new episodes of Outlander until October 22nd. When did TV series start to have bye-weeks?
President Trump has over-taken Pope Francis as the most followed world leader on Twitter. Lesson to learn -- crazy entertains.
Netflix is raising its prices next month by $1. So, what's that? 10-cents per person using my password?
Melania Trump is criticizing President Trump's first wife, Ivana Trump, for calling herself "first lady" in an interview with ABC News. Is a "Real White House Wives" TV series in our future?
84-year-old Diane Feinstein says she will run to keep her Senate seat in 2018. Well, running may be a strong term for it.
Someone asked me yesterday, "What's the appropriate time to start playing Christmas music?" and I responded, "Not before 6am."
Harvey Weinstein has checked into sexual addiction rehab. They say he's already taken a turn for the nurse.
Another setback for Harvey Weinstein. Today he was defended by Lindsay Lohan.
Ferrari has suggested that it may build an SUV. I believe they've already got the slogan: "Never be late for a soccer game again!"
A report says Donald Trump’s choice for new Fed Chair might not be an economist. I mean, that would be like bringing a chef into a kitchen. Uh, wait a minute….
U.S. National Soccer Team is going to the World Cup. They just scored some great seats!
It’s Friday the 13th, to which Harvey Weinstein is saying, “So what?”
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU HAVE A LOUSY HEALTH CARE PLAN
- Only physician in plan is Dr. Suess
- The nickname is Black Cross
- Well, there are those monthly leech treatments
- $5 million deductible
- Doesn't cover sickness
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE AT A LOUSY OCTOBERFEST
- Wait a minute -- this is an Octoberfest Tupperware Party
- 3 words: gluten-free pretzels
- The Oompa band is entirely made up of kazoos
- Only two beers: light and lighter
- There are hearts and cupids everywhere
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, 
