According to a new study, one in three adults will avoid talking about politics during the upcoming holiday season. Apparently, two in three like to argue.
Astronomers say that they have discovered an earth-sized planet in our corner of the galaxy that is potentially habitable by humans. The planet in question orbits a star called Ross 128. Well, technically the full name is Ross Dress-For-Less 128.
Another fresh week, another chance to hear how someone we once admired is actually a perve.
A New York restaurant is offering Thanksgiving dinner for $76,000. I don’t know if that includes the tip, but it should.
Al Franken….if you will.
A new study says that only 12% of Americans eat the right amount of fruits and vegetables. I don’t know about you, but I would eat more of them if they were made of meat.
Are we at the stage now where kids are writing texts to Santa?
President Trump is slamming Al Franken. In related news, a kettle is calling a pot names.
Charlie Rose was fired by CBS, which pretty much ends his news career. Although, it does open up possibilities in the U.S. Senate.
A cannabis infused restaurant is planning to open in Chicago, where they'll call the wind, "Get-High-uh."
The two turkeys pardoned last week by President Trump were named “Drumstick” and “Wishbone?” Isn’t that like naming a boat, “Sinker?”
Yes, we celebrated Thanksgiving even though all the Christmas decorations were already up. Apparently, we’re trans-holiday.
Someone asked me, “How do you prepare your turkey?” Well, first I open with a joke and then say, “I’m afraid I have some bad news..."
New photos have surfaced of Al Franken at a Thanksgiving dinner back in 2004, grabbing a turkey breast.
Astronomers have discovered a previously unknown planet only 11 light years from Earth that could possibly support human life. It might have water, which of course, is absolutely necessary in order to open a Starbucks there.
A new study says that even light alcohol use can increase your risk of several types of cancer. I'm no medical expert, but what I take that to mean is that you might as well drink heavy.
Here's hoping you have a very happy gluten-free, kosher, no-soy, vegan, organic, low-acid, no-dairy Thanksgiving.
TOP FIVE THINGS THAT PROBABLY WON'T BE SAID THIS THANKSGIVING
- "I'm still hungry."
- "I've decided to retire the Pull My Finger gag"
- "There's too much football on TV"
- "Who wants to talk politics?"
- "I'll bet your kids can't get any louder."
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'VE EATEN TOO MUCH ON THANKSGIVING
- You can no longer put on your belt, even with a winch
- When you sat down, you couldn't see your belt. Now, you can't see your knees
- Your mom asks, "Are you going back for sixths?"
- Your fork is smoldering
- Your elastic waist pants are tight
Laugh a little, would ya?
