An Oklahoma woman is going to prison for marrying her daughter. Looking into her situation further, it seems that a couple of years ago, she also married her son. Well, you don't want to show favorites.
Seen on Facebook: "I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped inside the body of a person who likes to sleep a lot."
With all the evil accusations about Russia, I've decided I'm going to boycott the United States soccer team when the World Cup... oh, wait. Never mind.
Matt Damon says he's moving his family to Australia because of Donald Trump. I suppose we have to give Jimmy Kimmel honorary mention.
There was talk on the Internet about a big solar storm coming our way. Turns out it was a hoax. So it turns out I bought that expensive solar umbrella for nothing.
Vladimir Putin has announced a mission to Mars in 2019 followed by a manned trip. In no time at all, we could see the very first poisoning on the red planet.
A new study claims that a quarter of U.S. adults are online almost constantly. I read that this morning on my shower computer.
Britain has dropped a plan to scrap the penny for now. Makes sense. They're going to keep making cents.
Bristol Palin will be the Maid of Honor at the wedding of her sister Willow. I believe she's also first up in the reception tag team brawl.
When I was telling a friend that #16 UMBC beat #1 Virginia, he asked, "Is UMBC a school or a credit union?"
Making beer is a craft. Eventually, when I take up arts and crafts, you'll know what I'm up to.
Oscars President John Bailey is reportedly being investigated for sexual harassment. Wow, now it's even spread to Hollywood!
From Skip Tucker: My favorite part of March Madness is watching dudes who know a lot about basketball lose in their bracket pools to a girl who picks teams based on how cute their mascot is.
Consumer confidence is at a 14-year high. Oh, there wasn't a survey or anything like that. We've heard about your credit card balance.
Scientists say Jupiter's red spot is shrinking and changing color. We don't know why, but we do know it's not from scratching it.
Spring officially began yesterday. In the northeast, that's when the snow gets warmer.
Remember, if it weren't for the downs, the ups wouldn't seem so high.
Disney CEO Bob Iger could make up to $423-million over the next four years. And that doesn't include the tax breaks!
France says it's getting tougher on hate speech. What a bunch of poop heads!
Vladimir Putin won his fourth term as Russian President with 77% of the vote. For those of you keeping score at home.
Jimmy Kimmel showed the results of his colonoscopy on his show Tuesday night. Thank God for DVR's.
President Trump is being criticized for congratulating Russian President Vladimir Putin on his re-election Sunday. Technically, he probably could have done that last week.
The snowstorm forecast for Washington, D.C. forced President Trump to cancel scheduled events yesterday. Why didn't we think of this sooner?
Spring is nature's way of saying, "See? Now aren't you glad you don't live back east?"
A couple of nuggets seen on Facebook:
- 50% of my life is spent wondering if it's too late to drink coffee and the other 50% is wondering if it's too early to drink alcohol.
- Easter Egg Hunts are proof your child can find things when they really want to.
286 rabbits were removed from a house in California. And right before Easter….
Ben Carson says he bought a $31,000 dining table for his office because the old one was “dangerous.” Police say the dining room chairs should be considered armed and upholstered.
The U.S. added 700,000 new millionaires in 2017 and none of them were us.
The stock market went down yesterday. I’m keeping that sentence far away from any mention of Stormy Daniels.
There’s actually a GoFundMe campaign to save Toys ‘R Us. I don’t want to pay up.
Tom Jones has been booked to perform at Queen Elizabeth II’s 92nd birthday celebration. I hear he's thinking about getting new hips for the occasion.
TOP FIVE SIGNS THE WORLD IS GETTING LAZIER
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU CAN TELL SPRING HAS ARRIVED
- Bees seen ordering pollen on Amazon
- Early bird opting for freeze-dried instant worms
- Easter Bunny having baskets delivered by Uber Eats
- You know, we don't really need a number 4
- They now sell drones that go over and pick up the TV remote for you
- Birds and bees on their calendar apps figuring out when to get together
- Robin overheard saying, "Thank God! No more frozen worms!"
- You look out in your garden and see the first new weeds of the season
- 90% of those on Tinder lately are rabbits
- Previously un-shown tattoos begin to emerge
Laugh a little, would ya?