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Our 1,184th Edition
November 2nd, 2018

Our final Daylight Saving WACK of the year

Megyn Kelly is said to be out at NBC after making some unfortunate comments. Boy, I'll bet her face is... uh, red.

That's too bad. Just when she was about to become known as the "Al Jolson of News."

The woman who created the Campbell's Soup recipe for green bean casserole has died at the age of 92. At her funeral, I'm imagining a beautiful casket, covered with flowers and topped with Funyons.

A study says stress may lead to loss of memory and brain shrinkage. Great-another shrinkage to worry about.

A Canadian woman is facing allegations of witchcraft after convincing a man to give her $600,000 to ward off evil spirits. Gee and I would have done it for only $500,000.

We're losing around three minutes of daylight every day this time of year. They're probably with my car keys.

From Facebook: "My summer bikini body never happened. But my fall sweater body is ready to go."

Some people were saying that last weekend was the time change weekend... .its actually this weekend. If you've been showing up an hour early for everything, that explains it.

Someone asked what I was going to be for Halloween and I responded, "Oh, probably sick of eating Fun Size candy bars."

I caught my first cold of the season. So I'm trying to decide what I should be at a Halloween party. It could either be "A little hoarse" or "two of the seven dwarfs, sneezy and grumpy."

I'm a can-do kind of person. Give me a can of Mountain Dew and I'll think about it.

Pumpkin patch? I didn't know the pumpkin was trying to quit smoking.

A report says a Trump Cabinet exodus is likely after the midterms. Of course, that's also true before the midterms.

MIT has built a software program called BeeMe which enables people to use a computer to control others. Yes, that's what the world was missing.

Oprah is going to campaign during these final days with the Democratic candidate for Governor in Georgia, Stacey Abrams. And everyone who votes for her gets... a new car!

In a small town in France, there is a serial rabbit killer, who has killed a half-dozen pet rabbits. My theory is that its someone very protective of their Trix cereal.

From Skip Tucker: With yesterday being Halloween, I took it upon myself to decorate the place with some gravestones and skeletons. For some inexplicable reason, though, that didn't go over all that well with the people here at the retirement home.

Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are both covering up the matching tattoos they got when they were together. Remember, engagements can be canceled, tattoos last forever.
Alex Trebek says he’s going to stick around Jeopardy through 2022. I’m sorry, “What is 2022?"
Andrew Lincoln’s final episode of “The Walking Dead” is this Sunday. We don’t know yet if he goes out on his own, or if Rick Grimes is the guest of honor at a zombie going-away dinner.
A study says Louisiana is one of the fattest states in the nation. So much that 50% of the people make up 75% of the population.
At Bard College in New York, they have a brand-new Center for the Study of Hate. I can just hear one of the graduates: “Yeah, I have a major in hate, but a minor in ambivalence.”
The WeWork company in New York City has instituted a new policy—employees are allowed to drink up to four beers a day while on the job and they’re providing the kegs. What could possibly go wrong?
A psychologist says listening to too much Christmas music can be bad for people’s mental health. Someone’s gotten too many lumps of coal.
And the Starbucks holiday cups return today. We’re thinking about getting our tree this weekend.
  1. "Nightmare on Elmo Street"
  2. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The musical!"
  3. "Night of the Living Dudes"
  4. "Condo on Haunted Hill"
  5. "The Exorciserist"


  1. "I'll put this in the emergency kit. Wait. That's too small for more than one person. I'll just eat it now"
  2. "So I'll throw a little more towards their part of the inheritance"
  3. "That one looked tampered with. I'm taking one for the team"
  4. "Consider it part of their rent"
  5. "They'll never miss it"
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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