From Facebook: For those worried about Alexa listening to everything we say, they should make a male version. Then it wouldn't listen to anyone.
A Malaysian singer was arrested after "rescuing" a bear cub she said she thought was a dog. This is the same woman who is complaining that her pet pig meows too much.
Donald Trump tweeted that last week he met with the "Prince of ‘Whales'." The president says the reports are nothing more than fake Shamu's.
A 2,500-year-old tomb in China offers the earliest evidence of humans using pot. That was back during the Chong Dynasty, man.
A group says urine therapy, drinking one's own pee is good for people. I'm reminded of those two words, "After you."
Scientists say fast food could cause dementia. In other news, scientists say that fast food could cause something.
President Trump says he doesn't particularly believe in UFOs. Yeah, but you should hear what aliens say about him.
Oregon State University has opened a research center to study hemp. Apparently, 40 years ago, I was incredibly ahead of my time.
A study says cosmetics send a child to the ER every two hours. I don't know why the kid's parents keep letting him play with cosmetics!
An island in Norway has petitioned to become a time-free zone.
- Most popular TV show-Timeless
- If you were playing baseball there and wanted to call a time out, would you just call an out?
- You do realize this would also do away with happy hours... * If Cher visited, she would have nothing to turn back!
From Facebook: That moment you walk into a spider web and turn into a karate master.
If we say Libra, why don't we say leebrarians?
I'm reminded that it was the framers of our constitution that first pointed out that it costs way more for the framing than the actual constitution.
The people who keep track of such things says that Vermont has the most UFO incidents. Now the Bernie Sanders thing is starting to make sense... .
Elon Musk says he's deleting his Twitter account. My guess is that he's hoping to be an inspiration to the president.
A survey says a quarter of Americans prefer to travel alone. Especially the married ones.
A study says a person's ZIP Code may determine their life expectancy. Especially those living in 9050-crap.
Nine more former followers and staffers have come forward to accuse Tony Robbins of inappropriate behavior. Apparently, the self-help expert was helping himself.
The son of a New York mob family was arrested for murdering his own father. Some had better Father’s Days than others…
A study says dad bods are more attractive to women than a six pack. Not surprising they prefer a half-rack to a six-pack.
Look, I’m flattered by the study, but I’m still not doing that calendar for you.
A Minnesota hemp farmer is being charged with selling drugs. What’s that old saying? The bud doesn’t fall far from the hemp? That might be the new one….
A poll says 40% of young adults don’t wear deodorant. The only thing I can add is, this is not news.
Hey, here’s a new nickname: Milleni-smells.
TOP FIVE SIGNS THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG WEEK
- You wonder if it's 5 o'clock yet. Nope. Just 9:30 in the morning.
- Boss just asked, "Who wants to join our new overtime club? It'll be fun!"
- "Are you ready to give that speech? You know, the you worked on over the weekend?"
- Subject line of company email: "Let's Eliminate Holidays!"
- Wait-THIS is the day that report is due?
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU ACCIDENTALLY WENT TO SCHMIZNEYLAND, INSTEAD OF THE REAL THING
- A rather depressing ride, "It's a Big World After All-Get over it!"
- That really lame ride is called "The Doesn't Matter Horn"
- It looks like Sleeping Beauty, but she's wearing a CPAP
- Rodney Rat? I thought it was... ..
- Well, there's that new "Star Disputes" ride
Laugh a little, would ya?
